So What's With This Term, "Dog Mommy?"
I've had quite a number of single men say to me they have dated women they now refer to as "Dog Mommies" so I decided to investigate further. What is a Dog Mommy and how is it affecting your dating life? Now, I first have to preface, all the men I spoke to are DOG LOVERS but just don't have a dog of their own.
Dog Mommy (dfn) - a woman who is consistently cancelling or adjusting dating plans based on her dog's schedule.
Balancing your dog’s schedule with your own can be difficult but ask any dog lover and they’ll say it’s all worth it.
BUT, what about when you think that maybe your dog responsibilities are cutting into your dating life? How do you balance your love for your dog with your desire to meet a great guy?
Things you want to first ask yourself:
Is my dog complementing my life or is my dog MY LIFE? ie, can I be carefree and enjoy myself on a date without worrying about my dog at home?
Do I narrow my search for a partner by whether or not he has a dog?
Do I often say no to drinks or activities with friends and co-workers because I have to go home and walk my dog?
One man said to me, "Most of the time, I felt like she had a child and I was consistently a lower priority"
Another man asked me: "There are so many single women in their mid-30's getting dogs. Is it because they really want to be a mom and this is the next best thing or what?"
What I believe is that you can have both if you learn how to manage. I know plenty of women with dogs who have a healthy dating life but the key is they also set aside a budget for an excellent dog walker and dog sitter.
When making plans with your date, use positive, inclusive language: “I can’t meet with you, I have to take my dog out” is not nearly as inclusive as saying something like, “I’d love to meet up with you, how is 7:00 at (location) by my house after I take my dog for a walk? or "You can come with me on my walk if you like and we can go to the (location) afterwards”.
What this shows is that yes, you are a dog owner who loves her dog BUT you also masterfully balance so that you can create a healthy dating life.
Some women are not willing to budge when it comes to their dog and it can be a real turn-off. I catch some saying things like, “well he must love my dog or I want nothing to do with him”. Yes, if everything worked out perfectly, the dynamic between pets or kids and a new partner would be blissful right from the beginning but the reality is these relationships often need time and just because the first meeting wasn't amazing, doesn't necessarily mean the second one won't work.
One last thing is think seriously about allowing your dog to share your bedroom. Dogs are of course territorial and adjusting to a new boyfriend sharing the bed could be very stressful. I'm not a dog training specialist but I'm sure the infamous Caesar has some words on training your dog to sleep outside the bedroom or in their own bed on the floor. Just trying to help you avoid a mood killer on those romantic evenings with your new guy. :)
So enjoy your pet, balance things out by hiring a dog-sitter and use inclusive language.
To your authenticity,
Love, Christine