You Miss The Man You Wish He Was… And Why Those Feelings Will Fade

There’s a country song that has a lyric that’s always stuck with me. It goes a little something like, “you miss the man you wish he was.” The lyric is about feeling hurt, lonely and nostalgic following a breakup but being able to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is more about whom you wish you had been with as opposed to the person you really were with. What I find many of my clients find, however, that it’s moving on from a break up that is truly the hardest. The other day, I was speaking to a woman who had recently gone through a break up and was feeling really down about it. I asked her what exactly it was she thought she’d be missing out on in her life without him in it. She paused for a moment, then another moment, and then she realized she was stumped. She discovered she was far more attached to the physical attraction she had for him then the actual unfulfilling relationship. If you can accept that breaking up with someone certainly doesn't mean you are automatically not attracted to them, it can make things easier. Think of all the people you have been attracted to but have not necessarily been in a relationship with, now your ex is one of them. Aside from her attraction, she also re-discovered there was nothing in life she couldn’t experience without him they just now looked different. In fact, her new experiences could turn out to be better than she had imagined.

Transitioning from always having someone around and being “one half of a whole” to being single and entirely self-reliant can be difficult. That, I can’t deny. However, I believe that often times people get so caught up in the strangeness of that feeling that they start to grow falsely nostalgic; sometimes even considering trying to get their ex-partner back. Anyone feeling this way needs to remember that it’s natural and OK to feel these feelings. What’s so important, though, is that the feelings are acknowledged and recognized for what they are – romanticized nostalgia.

As time goes on, particularly when we’re feeling blue, we tend to romanticize past events and relationships. Memories make way for nostalgia and we easily begin to confuse moments of upset and disappointment for feelings of normalcy, routine and even comfort. When moving forward in life without someone we used to interact with constantly, we can feel off kilter or unlike ourselves – even when nothing about ourselves has changed.

If you’re considering a break up or have recently gone through one, I encourage you to give it time.  If you want to spend an entire weekend in bed crying, I say go for it. Don't judge yourself, just let the tears flow. The sad, crappy feelings will fade and stick around for shorter periods of time. You will find excitement, confidence and love again. What’s most important right now is that you allow your heart to feel what it’s feeling, but to remind yourself that you are just as capable, spectacular and worthy of love as you’ve ever been – if not more so.

There are many ways to mellow a hurting heart and speed your path to emotional recovery following a break up. One of the most rewarding activities I can recommend is yoga. While yoga is an incredible work out for your body, it’s also an exercise for your mind and inner self. Surrounding yourself with calmness and other people seeking fulfillment and serenity will help you achieve those goals as well. Try doing one thing a day that you love, big or small. Everyone is different so for some it might be time with loved ones and others it might be going for a long bike ride or eating your lunch away from your desk and out in the park. This will help you on your journey to achieving your “new” normal.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Be More Authentic in Every Aspect of Life

A well-known poet, E.E. Cummings, once wrote, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” To truly live as your truest, most honest and most authentic self does take courage. It’s easy to fall in line with the pack, to just go with the flow and compromise to satisfy others. To stand behind each and every one of your thoughts and actions can feel more difficult. Living an inauthentic life, however, rarely leads to happiness. If you feel that you are ready (and needing) to make a change in the way you interact with others as well as yourself, please keep reading. Once you have made the decision to stop molding your thoughts and actions after those of the people around you, and to allow your authentic self to shine, nothing is more important than consistency and repetition. It will take practice to avoid exchanging your true feelings for the feeling you think you should feel based on others’ opinions, so you must be ready to fully commit for this to work. If you do, I promise that you will feel a level of happiness, self-assuredness and purposefulness that you never imagined was possible.

Now that you’ve committed to making this important (and rewarding!) change, it’s time to take action. The top six steps to living more authentically in every aspect of life are:

1. Practice Self-Awareness and Forgiveness

Gaiam Life blog describes so well the value of self-awareness in living an authentic life. It says, “Authenticity starts when you set the intention to be genuine. Then, there must be an awareness of what that looks and feels like, and a willingness to act in accordance with your genuine nature even when it feels vulnerable.” Having the ability to recognize inauthenticity in yourself, and to acknowledge that the way you life your life directly impacts your happiness with that life, requires a level of self-awareness that many people refuse to allow themselves to experience.

Forgiveness, in my opinion, comes hand-in-hand with self-awareness. Recognizing fault in yourself, or even just a need for change, can leave you feeling crummy. You may feel that you’ve lived an inauthentic life for too many years and regret not having put in effort to change earlier. It’s okay to feel that way. Forgive yourself and move forward. Many, if not most, people go their entire lives playing different roles in different situations – never actually allowing their true selves shine. The fact that you’re seeking greater authenticity, at any point in life, should be celebrated. :)

2. Re-Evaluate (and Redefine) Your Values

In order to live more authentically and to ensure that every action you take works towards celebrating your true inner self, and achieving happiness, you need to take a serious look at your values. What did, or does, your “inauthentic” self value? Maybe it’s money. Perhaps it’s brand name clothing or the envy of friends. Is it your name on the door of a corner office? Or, is it the love and affection of people you’ve never even met? Ask yourself why these things matter. Challenge yourself to re-evaluate your former values and decide which, if any, belong in your new authentic life.

Once you’ve done this, ask yourself what you truly value. Is it the love of your significant other? A feeling of self-fulfillment?  The ability and means to travel? Chances are, your “new” values may very well be connected to your former values. The difference you’ll likely find, however, is in the way you describe the values and the aspect of the value that now matters most to you. What financial success would enable you to do, for example, will likely become more important than financial success in and of itself.

3. Catch Yourself and Grow

Just like quitting smoking, cutting back on salt or sticking to an exercise regime – living a more authentic life is nearly impossible to do “cold turkey.” Rather, it takes time and plenty of practice. When you feel yourself doing or saying something inauthentic, note the situation and circumstances. This will allow you to better catch yourself the next time and may even show you a pattern you were unaware of before. For example, do you feel the need to play a certain role with a certain person? If so, there’s likely a reason that particular individual brings out your inauthentic self. You may find the need to work out differences with family or friends or to seek new friendships in your life altogether.

4. Seek Genuine Company

It’s often said that you are the sum of those with which you surround yourself – or at least the average. Once you’ve made the conscious decision to seek authenticity in all aspects of your life, it’s important to surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you succeed. If your friends or coworkers leave you feeling jealous, down or tempted to shift to inauthenticity, you may no longer feel that those people serve your mission of genuine, authentic happiness. It can be incredibly difficult to evaluate your current relationships and make a decision to seek new company, but sometimes it’s necessary to move forward in your “new” version of life.

When seeking new friendships and relationships, look to people who have similar values to those that you set in Step 2. Seek self-aware, caring and authentic people. Finding truly exceptional relationships can take time, and it may feel that there are a limited number of people who share your values, but I assure you that the effort will be worth it.

5. Create a Daily Practice

Living authentically, in and of itself, is a daily practice. In all honesty, it’s a moment-by-moment movement. To rejuvenate your mind, body and soul, it can be helpful to establish a daily practice or ritual. The condition of your body affects that of your mind. Your ability to get a good night’s sleep affects your mind. Living authentically takes strength. It takes a clear conscious and refreshed state of being. Consider taking up yoga, meditation or another activity you feel calms and refreshes you. Having a ritual or practice to look forward to, each and every day, allows you to check in with yourself and evaluate your progress. After all, authentic living is a process and movement with no finite finish.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Live Healthier, Both Inside and Out

One of the current largest topics of discussion is that of healthy living and how to live healthier. Talk of organic lifestyles, holistic health choices and detoxifying our lives is everywhere. But, is there any truth to it all? Can you really live healthier simply by making the choice… and without spending a fortune? Friends, the answer is yes. In early May, I'll be taking part in an a reinvigorating, exciting and soul-filled series called “Detox Your Life and Step Into Your Purpose.” I’m a firm believer that everyone holds the power, and the choice, to make strides towards healthier living. Whether it’s the breakfast you eat before you start your day or the people you choose to surround yourself with – you truly do have control. In this series I shared my philosophies and advice, and that’s why I’d like to speak a bit more on the subject in this post.

At the core of it all, it comes down to making the conscious decision to live in the now and invite positivity, healthiness and love into your life. For many people, however, it can be difficult to find where to start. Don’t feel alone if you’re one of those people. I’m here to support you!

So, let’s discuss a few ways that you can start living a healthier life today.

1. Stop Worrying

At times it can feel like the world is crumbling around you. You might be in an argument with a friend or family member. Maybe your career isn’t where you’d hoped it would be by now or a new business venture is on rocky ground. Worry can be overwhelming and can, quite honestly, overtake your life. In order to make room for healthiness and positivity, you need to push worry out of the way.

Accepting the things that are beyond your control and allowing yourself to focus on only the things you can change is one way to do this. Regularly reminding yourself to stop and appreciate what you do have is another. Thirdly, take a moment to look around and ask yourself if your worst fears are really coming to life. Chances are that they’re not, and that you’re worried about things that will probably never happen. Let it go, friend!

2. Focus on the Now

As a people, we are so busy planning for the future and reflecting on the past that the “right now” passes us right by. You know how people often say “time flies!” or how you can hardly believe it’s already May when it feels like it was New Year’s just yesterday? This sort of loss of time can be blamed on not allowing yourself to live in the moment. You plan for the future so much that, when the future arrives, you can hardly believe it. Break away from all of that and allow your mind and body to celebrate the amazing things that are happening in your life this very moment. You are alive. You have many accomplishments. You are going to continue to achieve great things in both love and life.

3. Be Mindful of Your Food

One major culprit of sluggishness, tiredness and unexpected weight gain is “mindless eating.” This sort of eating happens when you’re watching TV or on the computer and what you’re eating becomes secondary to what you’re doing. Sometimes, you’re not even really hungry – you’re just bored. I encourage you to be more mindful of what you put into your body in the coming days and weeks. Your food is your fuel!

Try switching out Toaster Strudels for a green smoothie in the morning or packing a salad and snacks instead of zipping through the drive through over lunch hour. Nourishing your body with healthy, nutritious food will in turn nourish your mind.

4. Reward Your Body with Exercise

While exercise may be the last thing you equate with “reward,” your body craves being in motion. When you allow yourself to become sedentary for too long a time, your body doesn’t really know what to do with itself. You may gain wait, feel more tired more often or just simply feel “not like yourself.” Give your body what it wants and get it movin’.

If you haven’t tried yoga before, I would highly recommend checking out a yoga class. Start with something basic and for beginners so as to not overwhelm or hurt yourself, but pay close attention to the instructor and ask for assistance if ever you’re unsure of a pose or stretch. A gentle, calming exercise like yoga will do more for your body than you might expect. Some benefits include calming, improvement in posture, deeper sleeps and even increase in happiness.

5. Praise Yourself and Others

Lastly, try not to be so hard on yourself. Getting down on yourself about skipping the gym or enjoying a chocolate bar can be all it takes to send you back to the beginning. Becoming healthier, and making any life change really, happens in stages and steps. It’s not an overnight transformation and, chances are, you might have a slip up or two. But that’s okay. We’re all only human and I’ll be here for you when you need some encouragement. Give me a follow on Twitter or Instagram so we can stay in touch.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Stop Feeling Self-Conscious Around New People

Every relationship you’ve ever had, and have, started by you meeting someone new. Maybe it was in your childhood. Perhaps it was during college. It could even have been last year when you started a new job. But, at the end of the day, all of the people you “know” began as people you didn’t. As we grow older, however, we tend to find it more and more difficult to meet new people. You may find yourself becoming more self-conscious in social situations or even experience anxiety in a new environment. While this is normal and you’re not alone – it can lead you to miss out on amazing new friendships and opportunities. If you find yourself routinely tempted to turn down social invitations or the thought of walking up to someone new and introducing yourself gives you shivers, then I hope this post can help you. I want to challenge you to shed your insecurities, check your self-conscious thoughts at the door and experience a fuller life. Keep reading!

1. Remember It’s All in Your Head

This is probably the hardest step to master because this is where the self-conscious thoughts and behavior all begin – in your head. But, if you can regularly remind yourself that it really is “all in your head,” you’re going to find new situations and new people a whole lot more exciting.

When you walk into a room or are meeting someone, it’s natural for the other person (or people) to look at you. But, I assure you that they’re not staring you down like you may feel they are! Anything you are self conscious about, it often is only you who notices. The people around you have so many other stimuli and most of the time they are absorbed in thinking about their own insecurities!

I find that people tend to feel most insecure or self-conscious about their appearance and/or accomplishments when first meeting someone new. They tend to feel the other person has done more with their life, looks better or has more money. It’s so important to remember that, in thinking these negative thoughts and drawing such immediate conclusions, you’re hurting your chance at a new friendship or relationship right off the bat. Keep in mind that everyone experiences insecurities and that, while you’re thinking these things in your head, and as I said, the other person is likely thinking almost the same about themselves.

2.Pinpoint Your Self-Consciousness

Knowing what causes your self-consciousness is a crucial step in conquering it. Take a moment to reflect on the last time you met someone new. Whatexactly was it that made you feel insecure or self-conscious? Was it what you were wearing? Was it something you said… or didn’t say? Was it what you were talking about? Being able to narrow down and isolate what causes you to feel self-conscious will help you avoid the feeling in the future.

For instance, if you weren’t feeling your best because of what you were wearing – consider donating that item of clothing and buying something new in which you feel amazing. If it was the topic of conversation, steer clear of that subject in the future… or brush up on it so you’re better prepared next time around. Do whatever you can to leverage your history of self-consciousness to defeat the feeling the next time around.

3. Practice Putting Yourself Out There

It always takes a little bit of time to get back into the swing of things – no matter what the thing might be! If you haven’t been in social situations or within an environment where you regularly meet lots of new people, it’s natural to feel a bit out of place. Should this be the case for you, I suggest you remember the adage, “practice makes perfect.”

To get more comfortable interacting with new people, whether it is a new networking connection or first date, you need to start meeting new people more often. While that might sound scary at first, I promise that you’re more than capable. Remember way back when you were just a child and regularly met other kids and made new friends? It all comes down to bonding over a similar interest, environment or opportunity.

If chatting up the person next to you on your morning commutes sounds too daunting, consider signing up for a social painting class or joining a recreational sports team. You’ll quickly be tempted to leave your self-conscious shell behind and realize just how easy it is to meet new people – and just how interested other people are in meeting you.

4. Conjure Confidence by Strengthening Your Self Love

Negative thinking is one of the biggest causes of self-consciousness. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you think of yourself? Your answers to these questions drastically impact how you believe others perceive you too. I want to challenge you to look in the mirror at least once, every single day, and strengthen your self-love by complimenting yourself.

When you allow yourself to recognize the amazing in yourself, you’ll begin to conjure confidence that will stick with you throughout the day. You’ll walk into rooms with your head held higher, your back straighter and a more authentic smile on your face. When you feel more confidence, you’ll also find itthat much easier to meet new people and start up great conversations. To continue to strengthen your self-love, I encourage you to read another post I wrote about just that. Click here to read that one now!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Why Gender Intelligence Needs to Replace Gender Stereotypes… Now

If I asked you to think of a common stereotype about females, I’m sure you could think of something in less than 10 seconds. The same can easily be said about stereotypes surrounding males. From a young age, harmful and relationship-impacting gender stereotypes are engrained into our minds and daily lives. Now, I do want to say that I see value in understanding the sexes separately. But more than that, I see incredible value (and so should you!) in understanding how they work together. This sort of genuine understanding of gender strengths and challenges is called Gender Intelligence… and dear friends; this is something the world needs so much more of. Whether it’s in the workplace, within a family dynamic or within a relationship – gender intelligence can help you better empathize, understand and grow. In this post I want to share with you three examples of why gender intelligence needs to replace gender stereotypes, as well as how it’s possible. Please, friends, read on!

Gender Stereotype #1: Females Live Their Lives Believing the Men Around Them Simply Don’t Listen

Romantic comedies and stories between friends alike constantly perpetuate this gender stereotype. Men are just “grown children” or “are incapable of listening”, right? Wrong. The truth is that how men listen differs from how women listen, and that in actuality they listen just as often but in that different way.

While women explore feelings and soak in the conversation in its entirety, men tend to listen to what they consider the most important points with the aim to develop their opinion. Men also tend to listen and speak more literally, whereas women tend to infer and speak more hypothetically, rhetorically and metaphorically.

Gender Stereotype #2: Men are Too Confident and Women Lack Self-Confidence

Think of the last time you expressed your opinion. Did you preface your statement by saying, “I am pretty sure” and did you possibly end it with, “But I’m not certain” or a similar statement? If you’re female, the likelihood is higher. This is because females tend to want to remain non-confrontational, even subconsciously, to foster a feeling of togetherness and safety. We don't set out to do this, but it's in our DNA to "keep the peace" when we are in our feminine. This is a good time to mention that women spend varying amounts of time in their masculine side vs. their feminine side. When men hear these types of statements, they can assume that the female lacks confidence or is not self-assured because if a man were to say those words, that's what they would think.

The reality is men tend to speak in more unilateral, literal and concise terms and females tend to maintain a group mentality. Both methods of communication are equally valuable. It’s important, however, to understand why females and males communicate differently in order to avoid confusion, hurt feelings and to really hear the conversation for what it is rather than how it’s being said.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Are You Committing These Life Coach No-No’s At Work?

As a life coach, I often speak with my clients about achieving happiness, finding love and living a life of authenticity. Naturally, a topic that comes up quite often is that of work. For the majority of us, work is a large part of our lives. How we spend our time at the office, whether that office is away from the home or at it, impacts all other areas of our lives. If you’re looking to make the most out of all aspects of your life, including the hours spent at the office, I encourage you to read through the following list and recognize whether or not you may be committing any of these life coach no-nos. If you are, I challenge you to break the habit and begin taking strides towards greater happiness.

Not Knowing When to Ask for Help

Today’s society constantly tells people to strive for perfection. Be the most beautiful you can be. Be the smartest. Never show weakness. Never ask for help. But, in reality, life would be pretty darn miserable if we all chose to live that way – not to mention lonely! Knowing when to ask for help or when a task is beyond your immediate abilities is not only not a sign of weakness; it’s actually a sign of capability and leadership that many employers look for in employees.

When you feel you could use clarification, benefit from a helping hand or simply can’t take on additional workload – speak up. You are not only doing yourself a disservice, but are also doing a disservice to your teammates, when you live in fear of asking for help.

Not Taking Credit For Your Work

You work hard to produce high quality work and bring good ideas to the table. When you brush off your abilities or downplay your contribution, you are showing the outside world that you don’t value your contribution; and if you don’t value what you bring to the table, why should your employer or team?

Allow yourself to take credit for the work you have done. When you share a report in a meeting, use language that demonstrates you have put time and effort into creating the report. When sharing an opinion or idea, use language like “I believe I have an idea” instead of “Maybe this would work”. On the flipside, I encourage you to always own your mistakes. Accountability for both negative and positive situations is necessary for the successful running of a healthy team and will help you become the best person you can be, not only between the hours of 9-5.

Not Voicing Your Opinion

Your skills, background and mind are all reasons you were hired, so I urge you to not forget the value you bring to the table! Your opinions and ideas are valuable, so when you sit quietly through meetings or offer to take meeting minutes instead of remain an active participant in a discussion, you’re holding back.

The next time your Manager asks for your thoughts on a matter, take a moment to collect them and then share what you think. When people ask for your opinion or thoughts, they typically aren’t asking to simply be polite. They value and appreciate your mind and skills and authentically want to receive a response.

Not Praising Your Coworkers

Many workplaces foster a culture of competition. While competition can be great to encourage you to continue growing, regularly strive for higher goals and produce high results consistently – it can also make you feel like it’s you against your teammates. By allowing yourself to feel as though you’re “in it for yourself” or it’s “you against the world”, you miss out on crucial opportunities to strengthen your team, your place within the company and you end up experiencing more negative thoughts.

The next time your coworker receives recognition for a job well done, offer your sincere and authentic praise. Take a moment to thank your coworker for his or her contribution to the team and let them know that they are appreciated by you. When you remind yourself to show appreciation to others and celebrate their wins, you become a better person yourself. Plus, others will take notice of your praise and begin delivering their own – a smile is contagious and all.

Not Praising Yourself

Lastly, I want you to stop forgetting about praising yourself. Yes, you should feel grateful to have a job that allows you to support yourself when so many struggle to make ends meet. But you’ve also earned your position through hard work, dedication and the ability to produce quality ideas. In between practicing gratitude towards others, I urge you to recognize your own accomplishments, strengths and triumphs.

Praising yourself can be as easy as saying a self-affirming statement such as, “You are confident, capable and have worked hard to be where you are.” It could also be allowing yourself to swing by the grocery store and pick up your favourite dessert as a special treat. Or, it could be treating yourself to a quiet, relaxing spa day. However you choose to celebrate yourself, be sure to thoroughly enjoy it and thank yourself for the gift.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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6 Ways to Practice Gratitude and Authenticity That Can Change Your Life

Adopting a grateful and authentic mentality has become an incredibly hot topic over the last few years. While I’m thrilled that the benefits of authentic, grateful living have been so widely communicated as of late, I do want to drive home that the benefits of practicing gratitude are not a passing fad. The benefits are real and I want to help you discover them for yourself. :) The art of practicing gratitude needs to take place in your everyday life, towards others as well as towards yourself. To help you explore ways to practice gratitude on a daily basis, I’m sharing my top six ways to incorporate the practice, starting today:

1. Pencil It In

There’s a lot to be said for putting something onto paper, whether it be pencil or ink. To help you begin practicing gratitude every single day, I encourage you to purchase a wall calendar (or print one) and commit to writing three reasons you are grateful every single day. Write your reasons directly onto the calendar, whether it be in the morning before you begin your day or before you go to sleep at night.

2. Picture Everything as a Present

Instead of seeing your morning cup of coffee as your cup of coffee, picture it as a gift. You are so lucky to be in your home filled with warmth enjoying a delicious drink to start the day. Instead of criticizing your clothes dryer for taking so long, see the fact that you are even able to dry your clothes at your leisure as a gift! More people go without the daily luxuries than the many people who enjoy them, yet we forget to be grateful for them.

3. Praise Others in an Authentic, Meaningful Way

When’s the last time you took a moment to truly appreciate the actions of someone else? Taking time, even a minute, out of your day to look to someone in your life and praise him or her will make you a happier person. Committing to identifying the strengths in others and praising those individuals will strengthen your relationships and allow you to appreciate yourself on a stronger, higher level as well.

4. Set (Attainable) Goals and Achieve Them

When you feel like you’re pushing forward in an endless cycle, life can get discouraging. Goals and benchmarks are hugely important in living a well-balanced, fulfilling life. Set attainable goals for yourself and work towards them in everything you do. Perhaps your goal is to visit with your mother at least twice a month. Maybe your goal is to provide thanks to at least one co-worker daily. Whatever you decide, ensure that everything you do throughout your day or week or month is helping to fulfill your goal. When you accomplish your goal, allow yourself to be grateful for the work you’ve put in and for the commitment you were able to keep.

5. Spend Five Minutes in Silence

Spend five minutes in total silence and give yourself a moment to experience being alive. Give thanks to your lungs for giving you the gift of breath. Give thanks to your heart for giving you the gift of life. Give thanks to your brain for giving you the gift of memories, imagination and dreams. When you take time to look inside of yourself and allow yourself to be grateful for what you have on the most basic of levels, your outlook on life can drastically improve.

6. Donate Your Time (or Money) to a Cause You Believe In

We don’t have to be the rich to give back. If you have an afternoon to spare, consider donating your time to a cause you believe in and that is in need of your help. If you love animals, consider calling your local animal shelter and asking how you can help. If you live near a senior’s center, consider donating your time to read to residents who go long stretches without family visits. You have the ability to not only change your life, but to change the lives of others for better too.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Life Coach Advice: Avoid These 4 Self-Sabotaging Habits

There’s a time old adage that teaches that happiness begins within. While it may seem at times that finding happiness in the right now is impossible, I can’t stress enough how much control you truly have in your own emotional well-being, in the path your life takes and in your experiencing of true joy. To help you achieve joy and happiness, I want to share my list of four self-sabotaging habits you need to stop now. One of my greatest joys as a life coach is seeing first-hand how my clients are able to effectively change their outlooks on life, personal happiness and achieve success. I won’t say that it’s an instant change, because it’s not. But, it’s a change that is entirely possible and that I believe that you, too, can make.

Avoid Autopilot Behaviour

What do I mean by this? Well, there are many behaviours that can easily achieve autopilot status under the right (or, in this case, wrong) circumstances. Some examples are mindless eating, binge watching television, losing hours to vying over your ex boyfriend’s recent trip with his new girlfriend… these are all examples of actions or behaviour that happen without a deliberate intention. They just get into autopilot.

Allowing yourself to carry on a life in which you regularly simply tune out and allow yourself to engage in autopilot behaviours can have a negative, direct impact on your happiness. It’s so incredibly important to be aware of this "brain habit" and consciously catch yourself. This way you can, in the moment, choose different thoughts.

When you allow your life and your mind to be filled up to the rim with unintentional thoughts and actions, you end up without any room for positive intentions. A life filled with deliberate, thought-out and intentional actions will ultimately lead to a much more fulfilling and happy day-to-day.

Avoid Criticizing Yourself

Believe me when I say that everyone experiences self-criticism, just simply of varying degrees. At the end of the day, we are all only human. With that being said, regular self-criticizing behaviour can have major negative impacts on your self-esteem, self-confidence, outlook on life and happiness.

When you feel yourself beginning to pick yourself apart, take a moment to breathe. It’s imperative that you follow that breath with a self-affirming statement. For example, not feeling beautiful today? Remind yourself that you are special (and gorgeous) in your own unique skin. Feeling down because a presentation you delivered at work didn’t go as well as you hoped? Remind yourself that you are capable, intelligent and will rock the next presentation twice as hard.

Avoid Isolation

When you’re feeling down, it can be tempting to throw on the sweats and retreat to a weekend filled with Netflix, delivery food and just about nothing else. Allowing yourself to remain in isolation, particularly when you’re feeling especially down, can have more negative impacts than healing ones. While “me” time can be very fulfilling and productive, the difference between that and “isolation” really comes down to purpose.

The next time you’re tempted to cancel on friends with plans or decline an event invitation, ask yourself if you truly intend to spend the time working towards greater self fulfillment or if there is now a larger likelihood you will feel worse through isolating yourself. Again, I fully believe in recharging by spending time alone but we just have to be careful of when and how we do it.

Avoid Putting Everyone Before Yourself

Have you ever been called a “people pleaser” or thought of yourself a “yes man” or “yes woman”? Generosity and devotion to others is not a characteristic to be ashamed of, nor is it a negative. However, if you regularly put everyone else ahead of yourself to the point that your own needs and wants are not being met – chances are that you’re not as happy as you could be.

Spending time focused on working towards your own happiness will result in a lift in happiness of those around you. Everyone wins when you put your own happiness as value numero uno. This joy has influence and will emanate to those around you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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5 New Year's Resolution Ideas for Married Couples

The New Year is here and so are 365 more days and chances to live a happier, more fulfilling and more authentic life. For married couples, this sort of happiness often feels as though it depends on more than a single partner – it’s a joint effort to actively take steps towards improvement and happiness. In this post I’m sharing five New Year’s resolution ideas for married couples, so that you might be inspired to work together towards achieving something beautiful in 2015.

Couples Resolution 1: Do More Small Nice Things, Not Just on Special Days

This particular resolution is a highly effective one if you both vow to put in the work. You know how great you feel when you come home to the laundry put away or dinner ready on the table? Those small everyday acts of kindness have a much larger impact on your happiness and the health of your relationship.

This year, resolve to do more small nice things for one another – not just on birthdays, anniversaries or holidays! Putting away the dishes, doing the laundry, making the bed, cooking a meal or even pouring a glass of wine and putting on a movie are all small acts that will make you both feel more loved and happier.

Couples Resolution 2: Make More Physical Contact

Human touch is a transformative act, and I’m not just talking about sex. Holding your partner’s hand, giving them a neck massage after a long day at work, stroking their hair or even sitting with your hand on their leg are all physical acts of touch that aren’t necessarily sexual. Resolving to make more physical contact in 2015 will allow you to feel closer, communicate more regularly and feel a greater connection between the two of you. And yes, it will probably wind up encouraging you to spend more time in the bedroom…that brings us to the next resolution for couples!

Couples Resolution 3: Make Intimacy a Priority

A lack of physical intimacy in a romantic relationship can be incredibly harmful. Sex is a key component of a healthy adult marriage, and yet it often takes the back burner to a number of other things. This year, resolve to stop allowing long hours, fatigue or simply feeling “blah” to kibosh any possibility of physical intimacy. Many couples mind it helpful to schedule date nights and plan ahead, so don’t hesitate to do the same if busy schedules are often a problem.

Spending more time in the bedroom with your partner can lead to a stronger bond, increased individual confidence, heightened communication and a long-lasting bond between the two of you. Allowing yourself to sit on the couch and feel stressed after a long day at work offers none of the above benefits!

Couples Resolution 4: Argue More Effectively

Let’s be honest, all couples have arguments from time to time. It’s a natural part of partnership and can actually lead to a stronger relationship. However, how you argue makes all the difference and doing it the wrong way can have serious negative impacts on both you and your partner. This year, make arguing more effectively a priority – or communicating more effectively overall – and watch your relationship blossom.

When communicating, avoid playing the blame game. Use terms like, “I feel” and “When you X, I feel Y” instead of accusatory language – something I wrote about recently and encourage you to read more on. Practicing active listening and nipping problems in the bud instead of allowing them to fester will have you remembering 2015 as a very good year.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Canmore and My Healing Places

The morning view I've been craving for months.

Hi Friends,

How were your holidays? I feel like I’m in slow motion, re-adjusting back into my routine. I discovered I am able to live entire days and weeks solely focused on either what I just ate or what I’m going to eat at the next meal. :)

I headed home to Calgary for the holidays this year as I wanted to welcome Christmas back into my life again. Last year was really hard with David being gone and I remember wishing I could skip the whole season altogether. I took things really easy this year and just focused on being with family and out in nature. Shortly after I booked my flight, I booked a condo in Canmore for 4 nights. This would ensure plenty of time in the gorgeous Canadian Rockies which I find so healing. Someone once said to me that when they are in the mountains, they feel so protected, almost like they are getting a hug. I like that.

Thinking back on my trip, there were definitely some highlights:

On New Year’s Eve, my eldest sister and I were determined to get into the outdoor hot tub at the condo we rented. So we donned our toques, grabbed our plastic cups and made our way to the tub surrounded by ice. My parents surprised us by joining us for a bit too! I love, love, love being in a hot tub outdoors looking up at the starry sky. It’s something a good friend of mine and I used to do all the time when we’d go skiing in Fernie.

Going hiking with my nephews up around Grassi Lakes. They are such a reminder that the world is a playground and you can make a game out of anything in any situation.

For NYE dinner, I made a reservation at one of my new favorite restaurants, Tapas in Canmore. Yum, Yum, I discovered this place with some good friends this past summer. It is sooo delicious. It’s so popular that when I made the NYE reservation back in October, I got one of the last spots! We ordered whatever we wanted and brought in the new year with well-satiated bellies.

Getting coffee from Beamers in Canmore. I don’t know what it is about their coffee but it always tastes so good. I make a beeline for their brews anytime I’m in town.

Back in Calgary, I tried to get a healthy start on the new year by going to my friend’s yoga studio called The Yoga Shala. She teaches an early morning self-practice called Mysore and I’ve been meaning to try it for years.  It was such a good decision and I was totally surprised by how good I felt afterwards. I say surprising because it was still so early in the morning once the class was over! We went for breakfast afterwards and it was so good to spend time with such good friends.

Do you have places in the world you like to go that you find ‘healing’? I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Do “Feel Good Foods” Really Work? (4 Examples)

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Do you ever notice how you don’t feel so hot after digging into a bag of potato chips or guzzling down your favourite soft drink? On the flip-side, do you ever notice a boost in energy after eating a fruity breakfast or munching on a kale salad? Whether your entirely conscious of how your food is affecting you or not, it truly is. Here are four examples of “feel good foods” to help boost your mood, improve your body and clear your mind .

Blueberries

Believe it or not, delicious little blueberries pack a powerful punch. Blueberries can help boost the immune system, their anti-oxidants help flush toxins from your body and they’re loaded with nutritional value including Vitamin K, Manganese, Vitamin C and Fiber.

Nuts and Seeds

Almonds, sesame seeds, peanuts and hazelnuts all have a pretty interesting quality. They contain tryptophan, an amino acid that helps your body produce melatonin. Since we need melatonin to regulate sleep, eating a handful of nuts or seeds an hour or so before bed can help you get your snooze on so you wake up wide-eyed and ready for anything the next morning.

Garlic

Have your mouthwash ready for this one! Garlic is sort of a cure-all when it comes to feel good foods. It has anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-viral qualities and used to be eaten regularly to help fight away cold viruses. It has a key ingredient called allicin, which has been associated with cancer-fighting action. It’s also been said to help lower high blood pressure.

Lettuce & Leafy Greens

You don’t have to be crazy for kale to reap the benefits of lettuce and leafy greens, though kale is packed with protein, fiber, vitamins A, C and K and lots of other healthy stuff. Other lettuce varieties, like endive, help to improve liver function and detoxify the body. Dark leafy greens contain iron, too, which is helpful for many women suffering from iron deficiencies.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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What have you said “Never Again” to?

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So I joined the gym this week. This was something I was avoiding…out of principal. You see, the last time I was a member of a gym, they went out of business and took over $400 of my money with them. I said to myself, “never again, there’s no way I’m ever giving money to a gym again. All of them are notorious for ripping you off”. So for the last year, I wouldn’t commit to anything more than a 10-card pass for CrossFit or, in the case of the yoga studio I go to, a one year membership where I knew the end date and it was clearly stated in the contract.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was going for an appointment to sign up for a gym and my last words to her were, “pay cash, don’t give them any payment information!”. She laughed, probably not knowing how committed I was to my principal.

Then the day came when she and I decided to be fitness accountability partners. Uh oh, how was I going to do this? How was I going to actually avoid the gym and still be her partner? My first thoughts were,” I would just keep buying my 10-passes and exercise outside. But winter is on it’s way and as much as I used to love winter running, it’s a different climate here in the east then when I lived in Alberta.  Plus, was I really going to be her partner and then just exercise by myself?”

So I picked up the phone…

“It’s a wonderful day at Good Life, how can I help you?”

(oh gawd, really, I can’t turn back now)

Me: I was wondering if you have any appointments for tonight. I’d like to…..sign up for a membership.

Her: (super friendly) Sure, how about 7:30pm?

(maybe part of me was hoping they wouldn’t have a time slot and I could have more time to think about it)

Me: (hesitating) Yes, thanks, I’ll see you then.

I got off the phone and the funny thing is, I thought “well, when I sit down with the membership guy, I’ll strike a deal, maybe even play hard ball. We’ll find a way for me to re-coup the funds I lost from the last gym”

When I arrived, Shane greeted me, told me his own fitness story and took me on a tour. He had clearly done this over 1000 times and I wondered if he could walk the tour in his sleep. My brain started to tell me I shouldn’t sign up because he was too “salesy”. But….really Christine? What if he just likes his job and it shows. Stop looking for excuses! J

So when we sat down and he had me start filling out the membership form, my little “never again! Never again!” voice came up and I outright asked him “so what can we do about the price of membership. Are there different prices?” Shane has also likely been asked this 1000 times so he respectfully said, “the price is the same for everyone but I can give you your first month free”.

Sigh…okay. I got to the part of the form where they needed banking information. Big, huge gulp and I wrote out my numbers.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, went my brain.

I looked at my friend who had come with me and I knew that the fact we were now going to be able to go the gym regularly outweighed my “never again’s”. And at the end of the day, my investment in my health was a good one... even though I may only admit it here. :)

COACHING EXERCISE FOR YOU

Think of the things in your life that you’ve said “NEVER AGAIN” to but at the end of the day, it really only ends up hurting you.

Share what you discover in the comments below!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Stay Calm and In Control in Any Situation

Everyone handles stress differently. It can be hard to learn how to stay calm. Some people can breeze through a last minute deadline without breaking a sweat. Others get anxious at the mere thought of having to drive to the airport for specific time. No matter what your reaction, understand that it’s entirely natural. Also understand that there are universal coping mechanisms that you can employ to help you stay calm and in control, because losing your cool is never fun. To help you stay calm, cool and collected I’m sharing my top five tips to keeping calm. So, keep calm and read on!

1. Remember to Breathe

When you receive a passive aggressive text message, vague email asking you to keep your manager in the board room, last minute notice that your in-laws are coming to town tonight or when you realize you hit “snooze” a few too many times and are bound to be late – take a second to breathe.

In fact, take sixty seconds to breathe.

Concentrating on your breathe and getting your heart rate back to normal will help you conquer whatever the situation may be with a cooler head and clearer mind. There’s nothing worse than a knee-jerk reaction in a stressful situation!

2. Tell Yourself It’s Temporary

It can be easy to let the situation swallow you whole and lead you down a path of panic. Remind yourself that what you’re feeling is just a temporary reaction to the situation now and that it will pass. Sometimes letting yourself see that there’s an end in sight will bring you back to the present and let you charge forward instead with your day.

3. Take a Walk

Putting your body in motion can be incredibly helpful in combatting a case of “losing my cool”. Take a five-minute walk to the nearest coffee shop (if you go inside, opt for a caffeine free option… you don’t need to hop yourself up further!) or even walk inside of your office building or home. Get yourself moving and you’ll feel the thoughts in your head start to shift just the same.

If you can, take this opportunity to hit the gym or get in a thirty-minute workout. The natural hormones your body produces during and after a workout are mega mood-boosters.

4. Phone a Friend… but Talk About Something Else

If you can, phone a friend or family member who isn’t involved in whatever the stressful situation may be. Let them know that you’re having a tough day and want to chat and get your mind off whatever’s bothering you. Whatever you do, make sure that you don’t spend the phone call dwelling on the issue – it’s only going to fester and make you feel worse.

5. Play Your Favourite Song

If you work at an office, it’s helpful to have a set of headphones handy for stressful days. Hearing your favourite music will help you keep on track and stay calm. Whether it’s just an average day or you’re working your butt off trying to wrap a project up by five o’clock – your favourite tunes will help you through it.

When do you feel yourself starting to lose your calm? How do you cope? I’d love to hear your take on things!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How you relate to fear shapes the quality of your life

Christine Hart and Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love

A few weeks ago I attended a workshop with one of my faves, Mastin Kipp of the Daily Love. He’s recently published a book called Growing into Grace and I’m looking forward to diving in this weekend.

When striving to follow your truth, inevitably fear comes up over and over. Am I doing the right thing? What if this doesn’t work? What if I make a fool of myself? Is this too risky? Mastin gave us a brilliant acronym associated with the word FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

We know that fear is our brain’s way of keeping us safe so of course, it makes sense that our brains have become masters of even creating evidence to back up their claims. It’s almost like our brain is a well-resourced lawyer ready for a strong debate at any given moment. ☺

So since we know that this is typical behavior of our brain, how can we adjust it? Mastin suggests that:

How you relate to fear shapes the quality of your life

He went on to explain that our relationship to each fear determines the type of fear it is.

Huh?

More specifically:

Excitement is fear with POSITIVE energy Anxiety is fear with NEGATIVE energy

This means that once we acknowledge what our fear is, we can choose if we are going to create excitement OR anxiety around it. I think this is pretty awesome and allows us to get back in the driver’s seat of our brains, rather than being a hopeful passenger.

For example: let’s say you are in a relationship right now with someone that you care deeply about but you’re almost positive they are not the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with. You may default to anxiety, negative based fear and not break up with the person because you fear being alone. The other choice would be to place excitement and positive energy around the fear and see it as the right decision to free yourself up for a more suited relationship. In both cases, you are fully acknowledging the fear but you are choosing what energy you are going to give it.

COACHING EXERCISE FOR YOU

Name two fears you have. They could be about work, relationships, fitness, life purpose, whatever you like. Be real with yourself and identify if positive or negative energy surrounds it. Now look to see if you can switch them to positive energy. Notice how this opens things up. You might be inspired to set some new goals once you see that FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real.

Let me know what you discover by sharing in the comments below!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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PS Make sure to follow me on Instagram for daily inspiration and more exciting photos from workshops and events! :)

Do What You Love, It's The Key to Happiness

We hear a lot about how we’re supposed to follow our passions, but what does that really mean? What does it look like to follow your passions? Passion is that feeling of excitement and optimism that we feel when we’re living authentically. How that shows up in our lives is different for each of us though. How come it's more difficult for some of you to really do what you love? Some people are passionate about things like dogs or cats. In much the same way, our passions present themselves in our work, our relationships and how we live every aspect of our lives. It’s not so much about what our passions actually are, but that we follow them.

Joseph Campbell, the renowned mythologist, is often quoted for his famous words saying that in order for us to be truly happy in life, we must ‘Follow Our Bliss’. What is it that truly excites you? When do you feel the most vital and alive?

To follow your passions means to take that leap, even when you don’t know what lies on the other side. It means to be willing to trust that there is some divine plan at play that is inviting your true potential to manifest itself in the world. Passion inherently contains within it, some element of risk.

Many of us take the safe bet in life though. We choose the safe relationship, the steady job with a guaranteed income and the quiet predictable neighbourhood to live in.

There’s nothing wrong with those choices if they allow you to follow your passions, but if you are choosing them only because it’s safe vs what you really want, then you’ve denied yourself the chance to follow your bliss and to authentically step into who are meant to be.

Here’s what I recommend:

Ask yourself what your passion is. If you could do just one thing today, right now, to start following your passion, what would that be? Then switch to imagining that you’re already living your passions. How does that feel to be living that way? Notice making decisions becomes so much easier because you are trying to line up your life with that feeling. All the choices you make every day somehow come more naturally. Everything just flows and there is no resistance.

Give it a try!

That is why we should follow our passions, because following our passions allows us to honor ALL of who we are, not just the beliefs that we have inherited from others.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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5 Ways Your Body is Telling You It's Stressed

We all know that stress is bad for us, but we don’t always recognize when we’re feeling stressed. Our bodies are like relay towers. They’re constantly taking in information through the environment, the food we eat, and the chemicals and toxins we’re exposed to. Then our bodies translate that raw data and let us know what’s working, and what’s not working, by how we look and feel. Stress comes in many forms though, which adds to the difficulty in identifying when we’re experiencing it. Someone who is under a chronic amount of stress will exhibit more noticeable, outward signs of stress in their bodies, then someone who is experiencing stress as a result of a passing situation. The distinction being chronic versus acute stress is the latter is temporary but quite intense.

Often stress is an underlying chronic condition, contributing to a multitude of symptoms, which also has an acute element to it. For example, you may experience an underlying low level of stress in your life as a result of social anxiety. That low level stress can then be triggered by a social situation that happens each year at the same time. Every year you may find yourself preparing for the acute flare up in your anxiety that increases your stress, and takes a greater toll on you than the rest of the year.

So how do you know that you’re under stress? What can you look for to start preparing yourself before your stress becomes a chronic condition?

Here are 5 ways that your body is telling you it’s stressed.

1. Most people when they are stressed experience sleep disturbances. That doesn’t mean that it you have no trouble sleeping that you’re not also under stress, it just means that’s a good place to start looking for signs that you are. Every body responds to stress differently, some require more sleep and some less. When you’re restless and anxious you tend to have more trouble sleeping. Start to notice if there has been any change in your sleep patterns, either sleeping more or less, having trouble falling asleep, or waking up in the middle of the night unable to get back to sleep.

2. Notice what your eating habits are. Many people overeat when stressed as a way to disconnect and shut off the stress, or numb out. Others will stop eating as away to gain some sense of control over feeling not in control of the situation causing the stress, and the impact it’s having on them. Either one is possible; the key is to notice what is different than usual for you. Much like changes in your sleep patterns, you’re looking for what’s new or out of the ordinary for you. Your body may also crave different foods as a result of stress.

3. Regardless if you’re eating more or not, stress produces cortisol in the body which tends to make you put on weight around the belly. So even though you might have a loss of appetite as result of stress, you may also be carrying extra weight around the middle.

4. Cortisol also affects your immune system, big time! So when you’re stressed, you’re more likely to get sick. You’re body will have less resistance to fight off infections and will take longer to get over a cold when you are sick. Cuts and bruises will heal more slowly and will also be more susceptible to infections.

5. Stress can also present itself in the body as dull and lifeless skin, hair and eyes. Your usual shine or brightness can be become faded, much like your spirit feels. The body is expressing outwardly what is going on inside.

Commit to paying attention to the language of your body. It’s always speaking to you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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When it Comes to Re-Inventing Yourself, do you Need to Go all the Way?

Last week I spoke with a group of women on the topic of “inventing yourself or re-inventing yourself” after a significant life event. It could be at any level from changing careers to the loss of a loved one but the discussion really focused on:

When you feel like you have to make big changes, how far do you need to go to really feel that change?

Here’s an example – after leaving a job we’d outgrown or could no longer stand, we decide that since baking is our passion, we are going to go all the way and open up a bake shop so that we can do our passion all the time. We didn’t consider all of the other elements of owning a bake shop that are not our passion and we end up dissatisfied because we’re left with zero time to create a life.

Another example is we really love yoga so we think that ultimately, it’s about teaching yoga so we enroll in teacher training only to discover that actually, we just like going to yoga classes and don’t really care about advanced anatomy. I’ve shared these examples to highlight the pressure we put on ourselves to go all the way

When I returned from Portugal this summer, I was quite convinced that I needed to move to the countryside, build a sustainable home and grow most of my food in my garden. Hello hippy life!

After spending such an amazing time in nature, I was having difficulty adjusting to being back in the city and the hustle and bustle was really getting on my nerves. So I researched all the different options and became pre-occupied with how I was going to pick up and leave my life here. I had bookmarked tons of websites and envisioned my dream home but what this was doing was creating a lot of pressure, not the freedom I desired.

So I had a chat with my soul and pretty much said, “I know this is a huge desire and I am going to re-visit it over the years to see where I stand.” What I was doing was acknowledging that this desire is real and not some hippy dream and that one day, I may just do it. That’s all your soul wants is the acknowledgment that this is real and true for you.

In the meantime, to avoid unrest I decided what I could do is make my city life a little more country. I love Pinterest so I created some boards that get in touch with that feeling of one day. I pinned some of the Adobe homes I would love to learn how to build. For food, I shifted my shopping to include weekly visits to the Farmer’s Markets because there’s something about purchasing right from the hands that helped pick or deliver the produce that makes so much sense to me. And I started following whole food chefs on Instagram to learn more about how they work with all natural ingredients.

As I was describing to the women I spoke with, these are ways of putting your desires on simmer as opposed to turning the oven right off.

My philosophy is that “one day” will arrive and we want to be fully prepared.

Do you have a Pinterest board of dreams and desires? Share them below! :)

You can find me on Pinterest here: www.pinterest.com/myhartsings

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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The Truth Behind Your Personal Growth Plan

You’ve likely heard about personal growth plans, whether it was on a talk show or within the pages of your favourite glossy magazine. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, it’s essentially a way to map out the next month, year or other period of your life in order to achieve specific goals. Making a plan, especially when you have specific goals you want to achieve in your career, love life or on a spiritual level, is a really good idea. However, what you have to remember to plan for is for your plan to sometimes go out the window.

Life is a journey. There are ups and downs and a whole lot of course correction, no matter how perfect your roadmap and compass may be. And that’s okay. Sometimes we learn the most from situations we didn’t or couldn’t anticipate happening. We’re forced, however willingly, to re-examine the situation and find our way back onto our paths.

As children, we’re regularly told that we should “learn from our mistakes”. We’re told, “it’s okay, you’ll get it next time!” and encouraged to get back on the horse when we fall off. Why is that, as adults, the thought of making a mistake can be petrifying and we no longer see the obvious option to just get back on the horse?

The biggest, number one, most effective way to shake off your fear of failure is to stop seeking recognition outside of yourself. Your personal goals and personal growth plan are just that – they’re personal. If you want to write more, write more than you did last year. If you want to make more money, aim to make more money than you did last year.

Most importantly, try your hardest to stop comparing yourself to others and chasing someone else’s goals and accomplishments. You’re your own person, and you’re pretty amazing.

Lastly, remember to give yourself some recognition at the end of the day. You’re allowed to fumble and fall, just as long as you continue to learn from the low points and reach for the high ones. You can do it

I’d love to hear what happens when you try this so be sure to share your experience with me in the comments below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Feel Happier, Think More Positively & Be a Better Person

There’s a lot of talk these days about why it’s so important to have a positive attitude, how thinking positively can impact both your health and your life. Our environment and the company we keep heavily affect our moods, and therefore our ability to think more positively. Have you ever known someone you just always liked being around, someone that you would describe as having ‘good energy’? Feeling happy radiates a positive energy outwardly that in turn allows oneself to think more positively inwardly. This is why it is so helpful (if not absolutely necessary!) to become aware of what makes YOU feel happier.

Feeling happy is actual work and maintenance for a lot of us. I have always found this a bit ironic but I know that many of you can relate. Our mind just seems to somehow enjoy hanging out in the negative world until asked to leave.

For some of us, feeling happier might mean being outdoors in nature, it may mean being physically active, for others it may mean taking time to be alone or doing something creative. Good music is another great way to shift your mood and makes you feel happier almost instantly.

Think about that person again that you always enjoy being around. Wouldn’t you like to be that person in someone else’s life? Committing to being happier doesn’t mean that you have to be ‘Miss/Mr Chipper’, it may just mean that you’re someone that other people just like to be around.

Here are few things to consider:

What can you do today that will support you in feeling happier? Who can you spend time with that makes you laugh and feel good about yourself? And if being alone is what makes you feel happy, then where can you go to be alone and how will you spend your solo time?

Having spent some time focusing on activities that make you feel happy, start to notice your thoughts. What you’re likely to find is that it’s pretty hard to think negatively when you’re feeling joy and happiness. That’s the beauty of feeling happier - it positively impacts everything you do. When you’re feeling happy and all your thoughts are focused on positive outcomes, you become a better person by contributing to the well being of others with your good energy.

If you’ve ever gone into a government office that was full of lines of angry, impatient people waiting to be served, then you know what it feels like to have someone else’s energy affect you. In the same way that we can be negatively affected by someone’s anger or frustration, we can also feel like we’re being up-lifted by those that possess a positive attitude, and who are genuinely happy.

It’s our choice, what kind of person we decide to be each and every day. :)

I’d love to hear what happens when you try this so be sure to share your experience with me in the comments below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How Small Comments Can Have Big Impact

One thing that women are really good at doing is changing, and in large part, our motivation to change comes from perceived criticism by those around us. Have you ever been told by a boyfriend that he didn’t like your absolute favorite shirt?

As much as you may have loved that shirt, most women would at least stop wearing it around him.

Why? Because for a woman our instinct is to adapt, and we view criticism as the invitation to do so…even if we reluctantly change, we often still change.

The masculine responds differently though.

Try to recall the last time that you criticized a man. Did he change his behavior right away? Likely not, and herein lies another difference between men and women.

As a woman, because we react to criticism in one way, we think that when we criticize a man he’ll react in the same way, by changing.

But guess what? He doesn’t.

He doesn’t change his behavior because he evaluates information in a totally different way than you do.

In the past, a woman’s very survival depended on her ability to adapt to constantly changing circumstances, so naturally we’ve become quite good at this.

A man will take your criticism and then evaluate whether or not there is any truth to it before ever acting on it.

And honestly, he may never act on it, because he may not see the effort required to change as worth the pay off.

But don’t worry, not all hope is lost!

What a man truly does respond to is your ability to appreciate him for who he is. We’ll learn more about how that is woven in and out of criticism.

In next weeks blog I’ll show you how you can give your man the appreciation he really wants and why your appreciation has the power to transform the way you relate to one another.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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