Making a Great First Impression: How to Capture His Interest

  During a recent seminar, I was asked a question that I’ve heard many times before from clients. The female guest asked, “How soon does a man know he’s interested?” And, you know what? It got me thinking. We often talk about how to approach the first date or how to know when it’s time to take the next step in a relationship, but something I’d like to focus on today is the importance, and impact, of the first impression. Because, dear friend, for better of for worse, on both a subconscious and conscious level, it takes far less time than you might think.

Psychologists have long studied the inner workings of first impressions, and have said that the average length of time it takes for a person to form a first impression is seven seconds. As you may have guessed, this tends to be how long it takes a man to know – at least initially – if he’s interested in a woman. Men, as you know, more than women, are visually motivated beings. It's hard-wired in their DNA. How a woman looks, how she’s dressed, how she carries herself and walks, even the sound of her voice – these are all things that men immediately notice and are drivers of attraction.

While there are absolutely other stages in a man deciding if he’s really interested in a woman, and if he’s interested in a relationship, this post’s going to focus on the very first encounter. Let’s talk about how to make the most of a first impression and making sure those first seven seconds showcase your best, most authentic self. AND, keep in mind; I know it takes two to tango, so I am going to assume you are interested in him too. :)

I've purposely kept these bits of advice simple and to the point. The reason is I want them to work as Reminders. Sometimes we forget them and try to make things super complicated. So here goes...

1. Engage, Engage, Engage

When a handsome guy looks your way or a friend first introduces you to him, you’re faced with a decision. You’re probably familiar with the idea of “fight or flight,” right? Well, the same sort of thing happens when you meet someone new of the opposite sex. Your eyes meet his, you start to feel a little it nervous, and your mind (and body) quickly decide whether to engage or throw the walls up.

The next time you meet someone who piques your interest, be mindful of the two options in front of you. No matter how nervous or hesitant you might feel, I encourage you to take a deep breath, remain in the present and engage. It’s impossible to make an authentic first impression if you’re not present, and there’s no surer way to waste those precious first seven seconds than to block a new connection with security walls.

Let’s pretend you’re in line at your go-to coffee shop and the cute guy behind you flashes you a smile. He’s alone, has clearly noticed you and now you have a decision to make – do you grab your coffee and head towards the door or lean in and see where the moment takes you? You lean in, of course. You engage. Give him a big smile back, give him a friendly hello and if you are feeling open, simply ask him how his day is going. It might seem a little awkward at first, but the more you practice mindfully engaging the easier it will become. You are not asking him on a date or to exchange vows, you're just asking him how his day is going!

2. Be Mindful of Your Body Language

Let’s pretend you’re somewhere unfamiliar and need to ask directions from a stranger. You quickly scan the sidewalk around you and notice you have several people to choose from. How do you decide whom to walk up to? How do you know who will be most likely to stop and help you out? It all comes down to body language. We are naturally and emotionally conditioned to read and interpret the body language of those around us – sometimes it’s an intentional act of noticing and other times it’s more subconscious.

When meeting someone for the first time, or when someone’s making the decision of whether or not to approach you, your body language speaks volumes. If your arms or crossed, your hands are square on your hips or your face is buried in your phone, you’re sending an intense signal to “stay away.” On the other hand, if your body is relaxed, legs standing hip-width part, arms relaxed and head held high, you’re perceived as approachable and inviting. Be aware of how you hold your body and make subtle shifts to send the right message!

Now, let’s say that you’re having a conversation with a guy you’re interested in, maybe you’re sitting at the local pub or next to each other on the subway. Avoid crossing your arms, no matter how comfortable it might feel. Lean in and turn your body towards him. These subtle acts show that you’re fully engaged in the moment, receptive to what he has to say and will leave a positive impression in his mind. It’s often said that actions speak louder than words and, when it comes to the science of body language, it couldn’t be truer.

3. Disarm Him With Authenticity

In a world filled with high expectations, superficialities and constant competition, nothing is quite as attractive as authenticity. By now you know that I often work with my clients to build lives, and relationships, that are as genuine and authentic as possible. I, like many others, truly believe that you cannot experience a truly fulfilling life – or love – without first becoming your most authentic self.

And you know what? Authenticity is ridiculously attractive. Men love real women. A man loves a woman’s real body, real mind and real heart. From the first moment you meet a man, embrace your authentic self and allow your real self to shine.

Let’s pretend that you’re having the worst day ever and nothing seems to be going right. That is, of course, until you run into the new guy in the neighbourhood who’s caught your eye a couple times before. Maybe your hair has a mind of its own on this day or you’re running errands in sweats because your dryer’s on the fritz. So what? This guy – let’s call him Joel – is walking right up to you and this is your chance to finally meet him. When he asks how your day’s going, be honest! It’s OK to admit that you’re having one hell of a day, and that bumping into him as brightened your day. You don’t need to run and hide or, worse, pretend that everything’s completely perfect. I promise you that he’ll appreciate your honesty and flattered that he’s caught your eye.

4. Ask Him a Question. Seriously.

Anyone can give a compliment when meeting someone new, and while this is a great first step to get yourself comfortable with striking up conversations, there’s actually something even better you can do to make a lasting first impression. When meeting someone new, take note of your surroundings and of him. What’s he wearing? What’s he drinking? What’s he doing? Quickly taking inventory of all the topics at your disposal will help you start a conversation that is anything but generic.

When your first encounter goes from a simple “Hi, how are you?” to “I love your t-shirt, did you ever catch them live?” you immediately form a personal connection and open the door for real conversation. Asking a question, particularly about something that maybe other people don’t notice, will show him that you really do pay attention and are genuinely interested in learning more about him.

Plus, we all know that people tend to enjoy talking about themselves. When a man is interested in a woman, it’s his natural instinct to impress her. Asking a question and allowing him to entertain you with a response gives him a chance to do both of the above – talk about himself in a way that doesn’t come across as bragging and even potentially impress you with his answer.

5. Embrace a Certain Sense of Mystery

You’ve heard of “playing hard to get” and “leaving him wanting more,” right? While certainly these concepts can be taken to the extreme, to the point where they wind up backfiring, there is power in practicing a certain level of mystery. Men are programmed at a genetic level to “chase” and, believe it or not, enjoy the thrill of vying for a woman’s attention and the opportunity to learn more about her.

When getting to know somebody new, there’s no need to put it all on the table straight away. In fact, leaving a little bit to the imagination and keeping him wanting to know more about you can be incredibly effective in nabbing his interest. You can do this in the way that you dress, how you answer his questions in a very authentic way and even how you end your first encounter. Men are intrigued by the exciting and interesting things is going on in your life and "fitting him in" between work and other plans – just enough time to grab a drink and catch up until next time is a good thing. The only mistake I sometimes see women making here is they talk a lot about how crazy busy they are and how they don't have time for anything. Men are really only interested in when you are available, not the mountain of times you aren't.

A (somewhat) mysterious woman can be captivating, intriguing and very, very sexy to a man. The key is to not create a false persona, but to remain your authentic self and simply allow him to crave seeing you again and getting to know you better. Have fun with dating and getting to know someone. Sometimes we forget this!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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5 Questions That Make Men Cringe

You may have found that, by nature, women tend to be more talkative than men. In fact, women on average speak twice as many words per day than their male counterparts. Wow! This isn't right or wrong, it's just a difference that exists between us and note, I am speaking "on average", not all men or all women. :) Men, on the other hand, tend to rely more heavily on action over discussion. They also tend to place more meaning on the words they hear, and say. Even the most well intentioned question, or one simply asked to spark a conversation, can have the complete opposite effect. In this post, we’re going to talk about the top five questions that make men cringe and, more importantly, why it happens.

“What’s wrong?”

When it comes to this question, timing is truly everything. If your guy comes home from work mid-day and is visibly upset, then of course you would ask what’s going on and try to help. If he’s enjoying a little quiet time or doesn’t feel like going out to dinner with a big group of friends, then asking him a question that implies his behaviour isn’t normal can be agitating and can come across as confrontational.

If you’ve noticed a pattern of behaviour that’s outside the norm for your guy, then have a conversation. Let him know that you’re curious if he is doing okay and you want him to know that you’re there if he needs you, but the key is, don’t press him on it. It could be the case that he had a stressful week or perhaps didn’t even realize he’s been sending you these vibes. As women, we are programmed to take everything personally and want to fix people who are feeling down. Sometimes, it's not needed, he is just processing but knows you are there if he needs to talk.

“Where’s this going?”

This one’s a real doozy. The question, while so short and simple, can mean an incredible number of different things to different people. At the beginning of a relationship, it most often means, “Are we exclusive?” Later on it might evolve to mean, “When will we move in together?” or even “When will we get married?” or “Are we going to have kids?”

When dealing with loaded topics such as these, it’s important to engage in the right setting and with clear, honest language. Leave ambiguity out of the equation and put what’s on your mind on the table, but in a way that's not confrontational. Confrontation rarely leads to conversation as everyone is on guard. This will help keep the conversation from seeming intimidating or overwhelming and is much more likely to get you a clear answer in return. If you are asking "where's this going?", don't keep it opened ended, it is way more productive to be specific "we've been together for 6 months and I think it would be good for us to chat about what our future looks like...."

“Who is she?”

[ctt template="2" link="pb50w" via="yes" ]Confrontation rarely leads to conversation as everyone is on guard.[/ctt]

I’ve spoken before about how jealousy is one of the top traits that turn men off, so it’s no surprise this question makes the list of topics that make men cringe. Whether you’re asking about a woman he’s mentioned from work or someone who passes you on the street and gives a friendly hello, letting the little green monster take hold of you is sure to end in an argument. Similar to the first two questions, there’s a right way and a wrong way to approach the subject. Even with the “right” way, it’s incredibly important to avoid coming across as accusatory or confrontational because, friend, it can backfire.

If you notice that your guy seems to be spending more time with a female co-worker than before, even though you’ve never met her, it’s only natural to want to know more – and it’s completely OK to ask. To keep things open, you can say something like, "Tracey seems interesting, what sort of work did she do before joining your company?" Showing him that you’re genuinely interested in all aspects of his life, including his co-workers and friends, will allow the conversation to run smoothly as opposed to coming across as an accusation. The fact is, both of you are going to have attractive, single people come into each of your work lives and so coming from a place of curiousity is going to go way further in having both of you share openly and building a trusting relationship. 

“Why’d you break up?”

Exes and past relationships are one of those topics that a lot of men and women find uncomfortable. Asking a man to sum up the reason for a past relationship’s demise in a single response? That’s another story entirely. As with most breakups, it’s hard to narrow down why it didn’t work out to a single reason. Even when there is a clear reason, such as infidelity on either partner’s part, it can be very raw and uncomfortable – and, understandably, the last thing a guy’s going to want to dive into discussing (especially on a first date!).

When it does come time to discussing past relationships, it’s important to do so in a safe and private environment – such as one of your homes or when you are out for a walk as opposed to a loud coffee shop. Consider asking questions like, “What did you learn from your last relationship?” and “What do you want to get out of your next relationship?” as opposed to focusing only on the negative, more gossipy stuff. From working with clients for many years, I have found that one of the most important things to process before heading into a new relationship is why the last one didn't work. Also, figuring out a way you can speak about it respectfully rather than begrudgingly is important. Don't bring the past into the future with things like, "well he was just a total prick who cheated on me". That will instantly close doors. As tough as it can be, have a more mature approach in the beginning, "things didn't work out between us, we had really different values and I learned a lot about myself" Then, as your new relationship progresses, you can aim to get into more details down the road. It's important to create space to get to know each other without the past cluttering things up.

“Are you listening?”

Women often show that they’re listening with gestures and speech.  I'm sure you notice that when you speak to friends, co-workers and family. Understandably, it can be difficult to sometimes tell if men are truly listening and easy to assume they’re not. What you need to understand, friend, is that men truly listen differently.

Men tend to focus in on key pieces of information – specifically if there are pieces of information they can put into action. They don’t always demonstrate that they’re listening in the same way that women do. It’s best to save, “Are you listening?” only for when it’s super obvious his mind has wandered or he can’t hear you. Instead, ask questions like, “What would you do in my situation?” or “Can I get your point of view on this?” to engage him and avoid the question coming across as accusatory which will immediately shut down the conversation. I'm sure you can think of times in your life where a man has said to you "yes, I AM listening!". This tends to come up with couples a lot. Just take notice that you both listen differently and neither is right or wrong. Communicate with each other on the physical or verbal cues you may need in order to know the other person is listening. Keep it simple and keep it light.

Want to learn more about men's listening styles? I highly recommend checking out my 6-part audio series - "Inside the Male Brain."

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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The 4 Biggest Turn-Offs for Men & How to Avoid Them

If I were to ask you about your biggest turn-offs in a man, I bet you could quickly tell me the top three or even five. That’s because, by nature, both men and women are judgmental creatures. It’s easy for us to identify whether or not we’re attracted to someone within seconds, and also easy for us to recognize characteristics in others that we do and don’t like. But, what about when we reverse the roles? It’s not always as easy to recognize positive (and certainly negative) characteristics in ourselves. But, in a world we filled with right swipes and first impressions that take only moments to form, it’s more important than ever before to be mindful of our attitudes and behaviours – I mean, in all honesty, we are judging others so we can't expect not to be judged ourselves! (I know, it's the unfortunate reality. :)) So, friends, let’s take this opportunity to do exactly that. In this post, I want to talk to you about the four biggest turn-offs for men and how you can work to avoid them....if you choose.

Jealousy

Jealousy is a key cause of arguments, dissatisfaction and discomfort in relationships, so it only makes sense that the little green monster would be a top turn off when it comes to dating. When you’re out on a date and your guy catches you giving the stink eye to another woman passing by, or pressing him on his relationship with a female friend or even past relationship, it throws up a red flag. Men seek confidence and self-assuredness in a partner, while jealousy showcases the opposite.

If insecure feelings start to set in, take pause and remind yourself that you are a total catch. You have so many amazing, positive and attention-worthy attributes so let yourself shine by not comparing yourself to others.

Nagging

Believe it or not, nagging isn’t something that happens with “old married couples.” Seemingly small comments can pick away at anyone, particularly a man trying to win your heart. Reminding him of a tendency to forget things or making a slight about his style, choice of food, condition of his car or anything else can quickly diminish your star qualities. Nobody wants to feel “less than” or as though they’re not capable.

If and when you’re tempted to nag, ask yourself if it’s truly that important. There’s a difference between forgetting to signal when changing lanes and wanting to enjoy some fries with dinner instead of his usual salad. The first is a safety concern and may in fact be valid. The second is an adult choice he is making. Can you imagine if he told you to get the salad?! Reflect on that for a moment, haha, so don't do it to him. My advice to you would be to voice valid, meaningful concerns and to learn to shake off the rest.

Self-Centeredness

We all want to feel important, interesting and share our opinions, stories and dreams. But, in dating just as in relationships, it’s important to both talk and listen. According to men, a striking imbalance in this department is a major turn-off. Coming across as overly self-centered on a date sets the tone for the future relationship and can say, “It’s all about me” even if you don’t realize it. Practice self-love and showing appreciation for who you are and what you do is never a bad thing, but remember to keep things balanced and allow your guy his time to shine.

Next time you’re on a date, why not use the opportunity to practice your active listening skills? Ask plenty of open-ended questions, show genuine interest in your partner’s responses and you’ll be amazed at how the conversation seems to flow. Sometimes it is just our nerves that have us be self-centered, and not a reflection of who we actually are. Be aware of this.

Negativity

Over-the-top enthusiasm can be tiring, but nothing leaves a bad taste quite like negativity. As human beings, we all have our negative moments. It’s only natural and, in moderation, it’s totally fine. However, if you spend all your time together talking about how awful your day was, how much your sister annoys you, how much you hate online dating, how disappointing the restaurant is or (worse) projecting negativity onto your date, the spark is bound to fade. And, friend, I get it, we live in stressful times and sometimes we need to vent. I would encourage you, however, to find another outlet and avoid using your date as an opportunity to get a tough day off of your chest.

Consider downloading a self-guided meditation app or carving out a half hour to listen to music and read a book at the end of your day. Maybe there is a friend you can call to vent about your day before you go on your date? Use the time before a date to decompress, get in the right mindset and shed any negative feelings and thoughts that might have built up in the hours before. Set the intention to enter into the evening with a positive attitude and to enjoy yourself. Then, let it happen!

Like what you are reading and want to know more about working one on one with me? Contact me for a free 20-minute coaching call.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Soulmates vs. Twin flames: The Differences You Need To Know

Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed to get so serious, so deep and so real so fast, that it was almost as if reality couldn’t keep up? Maybe you were planning how you’d decorate your shared home a week into your relationship. Perhaps you were thinking of excuses to call into work sick or skip out on plans with friends, all so you could spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with your newfound partner. If you have ever experienced anything like this in a new relationship, Matt Kahn shares that it was, and is, most likely a twin flame situation. Now, if you’ve never heard of the term “twin flame” you’re not alone. It’s a widely discussed, and often debated, term in the realm of spirituality but hasn’t quite made its way to the mainstream. At least, not to the same extent as its “soulmate” counterpart. That’s why I thought that it would make for an interesting blog and newsletter topic this month. So, keep on reading to learn the differences between what makes a soulmate relationship, or soul contract, and what makes one a twin flame. If, at the end, you’d like to learn even more, I highly recommend watching this video by spiritual thought leader, Matt Kahn.

First, let’s continue to talk about what exactly makes a relationship a twin flame relationship. Then we’ll move into soulmates.

Twin flame relationships can usually be described as fast burning, fast tracked and almost chaotic in the way that the relationship quickly becomes all encompassing. Almost right off the bat, you find yourself getting really deep and really serious with your partner – even if you’ve only seen each other a few times. You make plans for the future, even though your friends and family can’t believe you’re already getting so serious. The thing is, you’re making those plans because your own soul knows that this relationship can help you evolve. This relationship is happening because your soul (and likely your partner’s) isn’t truly ready for your soulmate just yet.

While twin flame relationships can be fiercely fun, incredibly romantic and life altering, they’re not entirely realistic. In fact, they are usually filled with volatility, hostility and drama. That same intense energy that you feel in the good times fuels the bad times tenfold. It’s this intensity that often, understandably, leads people to mistake twin flames for soulmates. However, the intensity is too great to be sustainable and will often, almost inevitably, lead to destruction.  Something to note, however, is that twin flames can become soulmates and sometimes do. I will seriously stress that “sometimes”, though, as more often than not these types of relationships go the other way.

Soulmate relationships, on the near opposite end of the spectrum to twin flame; can be looked at as both partners becoming the living embodiments of their highest potential. This, then, allows them to manifest an equal counterpart. You are with each other because you are at a level that you are ready for each other. It’s way more relaxed, easier, more balanced and everything falls into place. Sure, you still have arguments and disagreements but there is a fundamental difference in how you grow together. You grow in balance to one another and arguments, for the most part, really just solve themselves. You don’t hold onto things to use against one another, you know that your love is more important and more valuable than building a stockpile of comebacks for your next debate. The friction that sometimes rears its head in a soulmate relationship works itself our naturally – resolution is never forced.

In describing both types of relationships, something that I truly want to stress is something that Matt also speaks to near the end of his video talk. When it comes to mental, verbal, emotional, physical or any other form of abuse in a relationship, there is no such thing as working on it or accepting it for what it is. In a soul contract where there is toxicity, you owe it to yourself to put yourself anywhere but there. He urges his listeners to not get caught up in the feeling of there only being “one” soulmate for them. There are many soulmates and twin flames awaiting you in the world, and you will never deserve toxicity.

I encourage you to take some time to look at past relationships (or even current ones!) that were particularly intense. It's more than likely, it was a twin flame relationship. Reflect on what the lesson was for you. What did you learn from that twin flame? I have come to believe twin flame relationships are honestly your training ground for soulmate relationships.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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What Men Crave, Even When They Don’t Outright Ask For It

Have you ever noticed how many articles, talks and books there are on the topic of what women want? If you do a quick search online you’ll find an endless number of results written by women, some relatable, some not, but many nonetheless. So, why is it that when you do the same search to answer the question, “What do men want?” there are so few results written by men?

A recent talk by John Wineland on the subject of “What Men Crave” takes a shot at answering the question behind the imbalance of clearly communicated needs.

John recognizes the abundance of discussion surrounding the needs and wants of women, which he celebrates and applauds, as well as the lack of bold requests for fulfillment from the male perspective. When thinking as to why this could be, he lands at the explanation that men, over the years, have possibly lost the capacity to powerfully ask for what they want.

And so, through an enlightening eleven-minute talk, John begins to share what thousands of men have shared with him – what it is they truly crave, want and desire. Without diving too deeply into each, let’s take a look, together, at some of the most notable results. I believe there are great learnings to be had and an opportunity to better understand the male energy and how his needs differ from our own.

1. Celebrate the Fact He’s Different From You

We often talk of how men and women are the same, and in many ways they are. But, at their fundamental cores and especially when it comes to relationship needs, there are striking differences. Often times, men want less whereas women want more. John asks that, before you give what you’re trying to give, take pause and feel into what your partner actually needs. This can take time as we naturally want to give what we think our partner wants without tuning into their actual desires.

2. He Craves Range

We already know that variety is key in a relationship, so why is it that we let ourselves forget this so often? Men crave variety not in the form of numbers but in the form of range – he wants vulnerability, playfulness, sexiness, nurturing and he wants it all from you.

3. Love Us With Equal Energy

Something John mentions in the talk is that men want to feel the same level and energy when being loved and celebrated as they do when you’re angry with them. When he’s present and loving you, he wants to experience your love at the same level as he experiences your anger or frustration when you’re in an argument. Be present and not passive.

4. Leave Business at the Door

Separating out the tools that you use to succeed in your career from the tools you use to succeed in your relationship is key to fostering a healthy, happy relationship at home. If a CEO walked in the door and treated her partner and family the same as her coworkers and subordinates at the office, you can see that things wouldn’t go well. He loves and admires your success, but he wants you to leave your day job at the door when you arrive home and he is more than happy to help in that transition.

5. Slow Down

One last point I want to share is how so many men said that they crave a slower pace. Whether you wake up a little bit slower on the weekend, get dressed a little slower, walk a little slower or simply take on the day in a more relaxed way – he has a desire to turn off the fast forward switch and just enjoy time with you. This one is probably the hardest of all to put into practice being that we live in a high speed world and, outside the home, are encouraged to pick up the pace and accomplish more and more in less and less time. But, if you’re able to at home, focus a little more on pace and how much time you are spending feeling connected to your body. Men thrive on feminine energy and as women, it rejuvenates us.

Check out John's video for yourself below. I'd love to hear what you think!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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What Men Crave

John Wineland

The Sexiest Words a Man Can Say… and Why They are So Powerful

A few weeks back I was driving in my car and listened to the radio hosts as they discussed a survey in which women selected three short words as the sexiest words a man can say. To the surprise of the hosts, and many I’m sure, they weren’t “I love you,” “You are beautiful” or (probably) any of the others that spring to mind off the bat.

The three sexiest words a man can say to his partner were decided, instead, to be “I got this.”

I find this so incredibly interesting for a couple of reasons. The first is that we often talk about how it’s the little things that really make a difference. Think of when your partner simply goes about doing the laundry or unloads the dishwasher without being asked, or when he remembers your favourite coffee and picks it up on the way home from work for you. These “small” things can truly mean a lot – much more, in fact, than singular grand gestures.

Your partner making the decision to take on something such as walking the dog, finding out which airport gate you should be headed to or hailing a taxi shows that he’s confident, capable and in control of the situation. We love this. And, in a world where women balance work, marriage, family and more, it’s so nice to know what you can count on to be taken care of by another.

Secondly, this short but powerful statement reminds us of our primal caveman/cavewoman roots where men were fundamentally the providers and women the caregivers or nurturers. While we’ve undoubtedly come a long way since the days of cavemen, we still have the exact same DNA as our early ancestors and having another 'take care of things' makes us feel good.

The power of "I got this" is the words are a statement of fact and allows for the man to shift into producing mode to deliver on his promise. These words allow the woman to fully let this task go and she genuinely finds it so attractive.

If you’re interested in reading more about the power of “I got this,” I would recommend you read this blog post over on The Good Men Project. It speaks to the effects of the three little words from a male perspective and is an interesting read!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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How to Strike up a Conversation with That Attractive Stranger

  I recently read an article on Mind Body Green that spoke about how there’s something about sitting across from an attractive stranger that makes us lose our minds. The author wrote about how someone can be the most confident, put-together person but as soon as it comes to talking to someone they find attractive they start to stumble over words, blush or just back out of the situation completely.

And, friend, it’s sort of true. I’ve seen it happen time after time and it’s something I regularly speak to my clients about. What is it about saying “hello” to that good looking guy at the coffee shop that’s really so terrifying?

In my experience, I’ve found that it comes down to two factors. The first is that you care about the outcome – the outcome that you don’t control. Striking up a chat with a gorgeous stranger is different than pitching a great idea to a client or presenting something to your boss. In those situations you sort of know what to expect and have had some time to prepare. In line waiting for your grande Americano is a whole other ball game.

The second is that you have no previous experience with this person to base your conversation off of. Are they single? Do they find youattractive? Are they funny? Easy to talk to? In a hurry? Who knows! It can be intimidating knowing where to start in a new conversation, with a new person, when it’s a total blank slate. BUT, it’s also pretty darn exciting and can potentially lead to an amazing connection. That’s why I’m challenging you to try it for yourself, even just once, so you can see how it could honestly change your dating life forever. Here’s how to do it:

1. Make Eye Contact

Yep, you’ve really just got to use your eyes and look at his for this one to work. Looking down at your phone or trying to check him out without him noticing isn’t going to get you anywhere. And, if I’m being totally honest, it could make you look a little creepy if you’re not especially skilled in covert surveillance. If you’re feeling him and want to chat, make eye contact and let him know!

2. Smile

Just like number one, this tip should be obvious but so often we forget that we have the power to make someone else smile just by doing it ourselves. A smile is warm, inviting and instantly puts the recipient at ease. Flash him a smile and open yourself up for one of you to say "hello". The worse that’ll happen is he says “hello” back and you both go on with your separate days. The best? Well, you could be swapping digits in a matter of moments and be all set up for a Thursday night date.

3. Compliment Him

Have you ever been out to dinner or at the mall when someone complimented something about you? It probably felt pretty good and made you instantly like the person even though you likely didn’t know each other. If you want the chance to speak with someone you’ve been admiring, go ahead and pay him a compliment. Something as simple as, “I really love your glasses. Do you mind me asking where they’re from?” can open the door to a great conversation. Be genuine and authentic in your compliment and deliver it with a smile.

4. Bond Over Something in Common

Again I’ll use the example of a coffee shop, but this tip works just about anywhere. Start a conversation about something you notice you have in common. Same backpack company? Same coffee? Is he holding a book you recently finished or have been dying to read? Talking about something that you have in common takes the pressure off a bit and makes the conversation about something other than him or you. Also, this is a good time to point out that you need to travel with your interests. Get those books out on the coffee table, wear that t-shirt from your favorite band or festival. Invite conversation about shared interests. Want more? Continue onto #5.

5. Try the 'ol, “Have I seen you here before?” Trick

There’s a reason why this pick up line is still one of the most popular today, and that’s because it works. Turn to him and ask, “I think I recognize you, have you been here before, your face is so familiar?” and away you go. Depending on the answer, you’ll have a few different ways to continue the conversation and things should flow naturally from there. At the very least, you will have helped yourself get past the "I don't talk to strangers and keep to myself" vibe. :)

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Why It’s Time to Try a Dating App… And How to Choose Between Tinder, Hinge & Bumble

Is it time to try a dating app? It’s funny to think that online dating has been around since the nineties and yet, it’s only the last few years that it really and truly became culturally “mainstream.” Just as it happened, a new wave of matchmaking apps have sprung up and started quickly outpacing desktop counterparts. You've likely heard these names popping up in conversation: Tinder, Hinge and Bumble. To think that there’s an entire directory of people on these apps, just like you, looking for a connection at your literal fingertips – why wouldn’t you want to give it a try?

There’s really never been a better time and each app offers its own unique features, benefits and (sometimes) pricing scheme. So, dear friend, I’m here to help.  Let’s talk about the most popular dating apps out there and what really makes them better (or worse) so you can choose the one that makes the most sense for your unique wants and needs. Ready? Let’s go!

1. Tinder

If you’re not into the idea of professing your love (or like, in this case) for someone only to learn they don’t feel the same way, then Tinder is a great option for you. When you swipe to indicate your interest in somebody, they’ll only ever see that you did it if they also like you back. It works the same the other way around too, so it saves everyone involved the awkwardness of putting yourself out there only to wind up feeling shut down. Plus, Tinder requires that you have a Facebook profile in order to create an account and can even show you the Facebook friends that you have in common with a match, so it adds an extra level of comfort and security that you don’t always find with other dating apps.

Oh, and did I mention that Tinder has around 50 million monthly active users? The odds have never been more in your favour, friend! Tinder is often touted as the most popular mobile dating app. With its ever growing pools of singles in towns and cities all across the world, you’re sure to find several matches in your first day of use.

When getting started on Tinder, make sure you set yourself up for success. If your goal really is to find a great, offline date on the app, then make it happen. Spend some time on your opening line. It should feel natural and really speak to who you are as a person and what your view is on life. Choose a recent, smiling photo of yourself and limit the number of selfies you add to your profile. You want the guy you’re looking for to be able to get a quick understanding of who you are, what you’re into and your overall style without having to read through paragraphs or swipe his way through an entire album of photos. And when you do start browsing, make sure you really do read the profiles that attract you. It can be all too easy to get carried away and go a little “swipe” happy on Tinder, but not every great smile is going to be a great match. Opening lines and profile info are there to help you narrow down your search, so use them!

2. Hinge

Hinge takes the idea of being set up by friends and brings it into the mobile world. Their tagline is, “Meet someone through friends you trust,” and it’s pretty darn fitting. It relies on its users synching the app with their social media accounts to be connected through mutual friends. Something different, but very helpful, about Hinge is that it will only show you a limited number of matches each day. This helps you really focus in on each individual profile and not feel the “profile overwhelm” that can happen when you see pages and pages of matches.

How Hinge further fulfills its promise to help you “meet” someone is with its new time limit feature. Once you see that you have a match, you only have 24 hours to strike up a conversation. Then, once you begin chatting, you’re limited to 14 days to continue chatting with the mobile app. This is all designed to encourage people to use the app to find connections and then take them where they belong – into the offline world. If you’ve been looking for that extra push to meet someone new, Hinge might be the choice for you.

When using Hinge to find your next date, take advantage of the fact that you only have 24 hours after becoming a match to strike up a conversation. Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going, and if you feel there’s a spark, suggest you take the conversation offline and meet up at a neutral coffee shop or wine bar. Texting can be great, but it can also lead to a state of limbo where you’re no longer on the app, but you also haven’t met in real life. Keep the momentum going and see where the spark takes you!

3. Bumble

It’s no wonder Bumble is doing so spectacularly well – a former co-founder of mega dating app Tinder launched it! One thing that Bumble does differently than many other dating apps, however, is focus on improving the dating experience for women specifically. How does it do this? Similarly to Tinder, you’re able to swipe through profiles and either show your interest or skip to the next. However, when you make a match with another profile, it’s up to the female user to initiate the conversation.

Yep, you read that right, only female users can send the first message. After that first message is sent, you can go back and forth with that user for as long as you like – but guys have got to wait for the lady to strike up the conversation that first time around. What this does is create a safer, less overwhelming space for genuinely interested people to connect with likeminded individuals. In its initial few months of existence, Bumble reported more mindful, responsible and thoughtful behaviour from both genders. It’s worth a try!

If you’re getting set up on Bumble, I’d recommend choosing a great profile picture that showcases your natural beauty and genuine smile just like on any other mobile app. What I’d also recommend you to do on Bumble, unlike what I’d recommend on Tinder, is to be a bit bolder when it comes to striking up conversations with matches. Since the app relies on females initiating conversation, you really can’t wait for him to make the first move. So, put yourself out there and get the conversations going – you never know who you’ll wind up hitting it off with!

All three apps are free, although Tinder does offer premium features for a small fee. No matter which you choose to try, signing up won’t take longer than a few minutes and, if you don’t like it, it’s as easy as uninstalling. Don’t forget, I’m always here if you need a confidence boost before your first date or need a bit of help crafting a profile that really showcases your authentic self.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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How to Identify Synchronicity and Harness its Power to Guide Your Love Life

Have you ever sat thinking about how great a recent date was, only to hear your phone buzz, look down and see that your date has texted you? Have you ever thought, “I’ll give my online dating profile one last shot, and then I’m deleting it,” only to strike up a conversation with a great match the very next day? These meaningful coincidences, or synchronistic events, can offer intense affirmation and encouragement. But, is there really such a thing as coincidence? Do you know how to identify synchronicity and really tell the difference? Many have studied the occurrences and impacts of synchronicity, and even more have surely experienced a synchronistic event in their lives at some point or another. Robert Perry is one example of a man who’s devoted much of his career to studying synchronicity and is celebrated for “A Course in Miracles.”  He believes there is immense value in learning to identify, and seek meaning from, powerful coincidences that can guide your life and love in a positive direction.

Like I mentioned, many have already experienced at least one of these events. You, my friend, will likely experience many more in your future. So, let’s talk about how you can identify the coincidences that are worth examining further and deciphering for meaningful guidance.

1. You Feel a New or Sudden Spark or Awareness of Desire, And Then Poof – It’s Fulfilled

I often hear from couples that met online about how they were this close to deleting their profile when they received a message from the other or saw their partner listed as a match. For one reason or another, they felt suddenly compelled to communicate and meet offline – even though, just hours before, they were ready to give up on online dating altogether.  This intense awareness, coupled with fulfillment coming shortly after, is something greater than your regular old coincidence.

When you feel compelled to say “yes” to a night out with your girlfriends or give speed dating a try, even though you’d typically much rather spend your night inside with pajamas and Netflix, it could very well be a sign that something truly meaningful is about to happen. This sort of synchronicity could happen in putting an offer in on a house you have a gut feeling about, applying for a new job or booking a spontaneous vacation. All I ask of you, friend, is to be open to what comes next!

2. You’ve Been Questioning A Decision and Receive Unexpected Affirmation

We’ve all been there. At some point, we make a decision and wind up feeling unsure as to whether or not it was the best move. Sometimes, particularly for those who have taught themselves to identify synchronicity, affirmation or validation follows. I was speaking to a friend who recently turned down a job that just didn’t feel right, even though on paper it looked fantastic. Not even three months later, the company pulled out of Canada and its existing employees were, sadly, laid off. Another friend of mine, who longed to explore more vegetarian restaurants and get to know fellow marketers in her new city, joined a book club on Meet Up – even though the idea was intimidating to her. When she arrived, she sat down at an empty seat and discovered the two women on either side of her were also vegetarians and both worked in marketing.

I firmly believe that we’re meant to be where we are, but that we have to be open to following our gut. When you long for chance, seek it out. If you had a great date, but didn’t feel a spark, don’t beat yourself up about moving onto someone new. Maybe the spark wasn’t there because it’s waiting for you in your next date. And, when you feel it, you’ll know you made the right choice.

3. You’ve Noticed Someone New and Continue to Run Into Them

When you notice the same person, be it at your local coffee shop or on the bus, across a number of days or weeks, it may be the universe guiding you towards one another. This can happen to reconnect you with an old friend, a new business contact, or even a soul mate. When your daily routines and actions bring you together to the same place at the same time, on multiple occasions, you owe it to yourself to take action. Go up and introduce yourself, or offer a smile and wave. While you feel like you’ve spotted this person so often recently, it could be some time before your paths intertwine again – if ever!

The next time you experience what you think is “just a coincidence,” take pause and consider the possibility of it being something more – more meaningful, more powerful and more guiding. Follow your intuition, open yourself up to signs and say hello to that charming stranger on the bus. You’ll be amazed at what synchronicity has in store for your life.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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How to Use Everyday Colour Theory to Take Your Love Life From 0 to 60

Everybody has a favourite colour. Whether you love how it looks on you, enjoy seeing it on the walls and furniture around your home, or simply feeldrawn to it for an inexplicable reason – you’re not alone! In fact, colour is incredibly powerful and has the ability to dramatically impact your mood, feelings, outlook and experiences. In today’s post, I’d like to chat with you about how you can even use colour theory to improve your love life. If you’re wondering, “How the heck can that be true?” I encourage you to keep reading! Step One: Identify Your Goal

The first step to applying colour theory to your love life, and life in general, is to realize what it is you’re looking to accomplish. Is your goal to boost your confidence on your next date? Is it to seem more approachable, more powerful or wiser? Or, are you looking for a way to create a more calming, love-inviting atmosphere in your home? Different goals call for different colours, and even different shades of colours, so identifying what it is you’re looking to accomplish is a hugely important step.

Step Two: Understand Which Colours Are For You

Like I mentioned, different objectives call for different colours. So, let’s talk about the colours you should consider for a few common goals. First up? Confidence! If you’re looking to not only make yourself feel more confident, but also to appear more confident to your date, then yellow might just be the hue for you. Yellow is a colour that we psychologically associate with optimism, high self-esteem, friendliness and confidence. While vibrant yellow may not “work” for everyone, chances are there’s a variation on yellow – say, mustard yellow or muted pastel – that will.

If you’d like to appear more feminine, nurturing or even sensual, then consider reaching for something in pink. Unlike its counterpart, red, pink tends to come across as a very approachable colour. While it may not be the best choice in a job interview or business meeting (blue would be a better choice there as it communicates intelligence and efficiency), it can work wonders on a date or even as an accent colour in a bedroom.

If the idea of dating feels slightly overwhelming and you’d like to create a calmer, more peaceful home environment for you – and potentially a future lover – then you may want to consider hues of green or orange. Green has calming, balancing and refreshing effects on a psychological level. Orange, similarly, has a calming and comforting effect. Like pink, it can also be associated with sensuality and passion!

Step Three: Inject These Colours Into Your Daily Life 

Feeling confident on a date is fantastic, but feeling confident on a daily basis? That’ll set you up for success time after time. Once you’ve established your goals and identified the colours that’ll help you achieve them, it’s time to inject these colours into your daily life.

I encourage you to do a little shopping to add more of the colour to your wardrobe. If you already have some of the shade in the mix, it’s time to bring those items to the front of your closet and be sure to wear those pieces more often! Also, consider bringing the colour – or colours – into your home for a more environmental and regular impact. Whether you choose to repaint your walls, add a few throw pillows or pick up a new piece of artwork for your favourite room – know that the change will almost immediately begin to impact your mindset in a positive way. Plus, when you’re at your home with a date or future partner, having what we’ll call your “power colour” around you will give you a fantastic boost of happiness and confidence. Your date is sure to take note!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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We all have fears, both men and women...

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This past weekend I attended a workshop that was all about helping men understand women and women understand themselves. As you can imagine, it was a fascinating weekend! There were several moments over the two days that a point of revelation occurred in the room where at the exact same time, the men experienced a “Really?? That is what it’s like to be a woman?!” and the women felt “wow, it’s not just me, I finally feel understood” One of these moments was when we were discussing the topic of Physical safety. We started with the men talking about a time in their life where they felt physically at risk. Some of their examples went back 10 or 20 years such as:

“I was riding my motorbike along the highway in a snowstorm and a big semi-truck passed me, blowing so much snow I couldn’t see a thing”

“I was camping alone deep in the woods and got lost in an area that is well known for bears”

“I was skydiving with my son for the first time and freaked right out!”

The women all listened and could understand these fears. When it was time for the women to share, it was a completely different story. I won’t share all the details for they are intimately related to the whole experience of the weekend but what I can say is that the men were completely stunned and had their view of women totally altered.

These are some of the beautiful things that can happen in an open, safe environment where men and women are there to learn more about each other, as opposed to sounding off with one another in a He Said/She Said battle like many other events. To think that some men took planes and stayed in hotels, all in an effort to understand the women in their life better, whether it be in their relationships, their daughters or co-workers was really touching.

We moved the conversation into other areas of safety, not just physical and how so much of it is tied back to our caveman/cavewomen days. We can’t forget that those burly, grunting men and women are all locked in our current DNA!

This question was raised by a man:

“Why is it that when my wife asks me to go to the grocery store to pick something up, she gets so specific with details? Does she think I’m stupid? It makes me feel that way.”

The workshop leader gave a fascinating response by going back to our cavewoman days and how we are acting on instinct in those situations. You see, if the cavewoman went out into the meadow and picked the orange berries that were close to the ground as opposed to the orangey-red berries that were close to the top of the bush, the entire tribe would parish! This is serious stuff and why women feel the need to provide an overabundance of detail in many situations.

Interesting, heh?!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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How Small Comments Can Have Big Impact

One thing that women are really good at doing is changing, and in large part, our motivation to change comes from perceived criticism by those around us. Have you ever been told by a boyfriend that he didn’t like your absolute favorite shirt?

As much as you may have loved that shirt, most women would at least stop wearing it around him.

Why? Because for a woman our instinct is to adapt, and we view criticism as the invitation to do so…even if we reluctantly change, we often still change.

The masculine responds differently though.

Try to recall the last time that you criticized a man. Did he change his behavior right away? Likely not, and herein lies another difference between men and women.

As a woman, because we react to criticism in one way, we think that when we criticize a man he’ll react in the same way, by changing.

But guess what? He doesn’t.

He doesn’t change his behavior because he evaluates information in a totally different way than you do.

In the past, a woman’s very survival depended on her ability to adapt to constantly changing circumstances, so naturally we’ve become quite good at this.

A man will take your criticism and then evaluate whether or not there is any truth to it before ever acting on it.

And honestly, he may never act on it, because he may not see the effort required to change as worth the pay off.

But don’t worry, not all hope is lost!

What a man truly does respond to is your ability to appreciate him for who he is. We’ll learn more about how that is woven in and out of criticism.

In next weeks blog I’ll show you how you can give your man the appreciation he really wants and why your appreciation has the power to transform the way you relate to one another.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Men Will Not Fight For the Chance To Talk

Today's post is all about how men will not fight for the chance to talk. Before we dive right in, I'd like you to ask yourself a question. Have you ever asked a man a question such as “What do you want to eat for dinner?” or a bigger one like “Where is this relationship going?” and found yourself not only asking the question but also kinda answering it for him?

This is one of the ways that women do not know just how deep men really are. It can also become a style of communicating, if we’re not careful.

Here’s how it might look.

A woman will ask a question. If the man doesn’t answer immediately, she will rephrase the question. If the man still doesn’t answer, the woman will then again assume that the man doesn’t understand and she’ll try to be ‘helpful’ by constructing the question as a multiple choice where she ‘suggests’ the answers.

The downward spiral of miscommunication begins here.

Then the woman complains that the man is not communicative.

Here’s what I mean.

Woman: Honey, where do you want to go for dinner?

2 seconds pass

Woman: That Italian place over at the mall?

2 seconds pass

Woman: Or we could just heat up the leftovers from last night. I’ve kind of been craving it.

Man: Silent (Thinking about first question, now filtering the suggestion of whether he likes that Italian place at the mall and now contemplating if there is enough leftovers for both of them.)

Technically this is 3 questions and he is sorting through each of them and developing an opinion.

Woman: (Gets frustrated on why he hasn’t answered, not realizing it’s 3 separate questions that she kinda answered and by the way, only about 20 seconds have passed)

Man: Sensing her frustration and the feeling of “tick tock”, he might say something like, “I don’t know, you choose”.

Can we relate? So what can you do about this?

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Why Women Are the Velcro of the Universe

One of the problems that women have with men is that when a man is busy doing something, he disconnects – and we give meaning to that by thinking he is disconnecting from us. We don’t know that’s what a single focused person, a hunter, does.

As women, we’re gatherers, otherwise known as the Velcro of the universe.

We’re used to being the ones that hold everything together. Whereas a hunter will remain focused, because he always has a result to produce.

Think about how different having a conversation with your girlfriend is compared to talking to your dad or your brother.

When a woman reaches out to one of her friends to talk, she’s looking to share, to be heard, and to process her feelings.

What a man hears when a woman opens up to him though, is that there’s a problem and it’s his job to fix it. See, single focus + task = result to produce.

So how does all this make us, the women of the world, the Velcro that holds it all together?

Because a woman’s job within the tribe was to hold it all together while the men were off on the hunt, she developed the skill to be the glue, or Velcro.

And because a man is single focused, when he’s finished with one task, he needs time to transition before moving on to the next task.

Here’s a scenario that might sound familiar, either because it’s happened to you, or because you’re witnessed it with your friends or maybe even your parents.

A man comes home from work and he wants to know what he’d like for dinner, when he wants to eat, and if he picked up the dry cleaning.

And his response - is silence.

As the Velcro of the Universe, the woman had it all covered, but the man is focused on only one thing at a time. In the Attract An Amazing Man Tele-series, I’ll share exactly what he needs before he can be available to her, or anything else that needs his attention.

Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself and see.

The next time you want something from a man, any man, watch and wait until he is finished with whatever task he might be focused on.

Then give him just a little bit more time, and when he’s ready to be available for you, he’ll let you know.

Of course as women, this can be much more difficult than we’d like. Because we’re so accustomed to doing ten things at once, we get frustrated when the men around don’t do the same thing.

And that’s where our trouble begins.

We make him just being who he is wrong, because he isn’t like us.

But seriously, do you really want to date or be in a relationship with someone just like you? No, of course you don’t.

Both men and women are looking to one another to find that balance that only the opposite sex can provide. That’s why just being yourself is all you need to do, to attract an amazing man.

But, and this is the key – you also have to be willing to allow him to just be himself as well.

Next week I’m going to take this one step further and shed some more light on how men and women communicate differently.

Want to get even more insight and understanding on how to attract and amazing man? I guarantee you’ll love my new soon to be released live tele-series. Click on the link below to find out more.

See you next week!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Body Language Attraction 101

Whether you consider yourself proficient at reading body language or someone who consistently doesn’t pick up hints, you will learn something new from these tips. When it comes to flirting and body language, author Rachel DeAlto does a great job in summing it up in her book, “Flirt Fearlessly”.  I recommend giving it a read to learn signs of attraction. She opens by saying, “Being able to read another’s nonverbal cues can save you a lot of time, and even prevent rejection. This interpretation can help you determine whether or not a touch is appropriate, if further conversations are worthwhile, or whether you should ask for a phone number or a date. There are certain things that men and women do differently in terms of body language, however, for the most part, the cues are quite similar.”

When you are assessing body language, don’t make any decisions based on just one. Look for clusters of signs.

Here are some gender-neutral signals of interest that Rachel describes in her book:

Squared off shoulders – if they are positioned so that it seems as if you are opening your hearts to each other, it is a sign that you are receptive and interested in hearing what they have to say. It says loud and clear, “I am listening, and I want to connect with you” – without your having to utter a syllable.

• Leaning forward
• Open and animated gestures
• Lip Licking
• Flared nostrils
• Open arms
• Mirroring – if they are in sync with your movements, they are interested
• Pointy feet – if they are facing you, they are interested
• Raised eyebrows – subtle but noticeable
• Eye contact/Smiling
• Dilated pupils
• Preening
• Laughter
• Light touches
• Head tilt – the classic come hither move

Here are some signs women give that Rachel describes in her book:

• Hair twirling It can be a subconscious sign of nervousness, but it can also be a come-hither signal.
• Crossed legs If she crosses her legs and her top leg points in your direction, she is interested. If the top leg points away, she might not be (or maybe she just had to switch legs to avoid a cramp…you’ll have to investigate a little further to find out).
• Wandering fingers If a woman has a drink and she’s attracted to you, she may start to rub the bottom of the glass with her fingertips, or stroke the stem of the wine glass.
• Touchy feely Especially from a woman, a touch can mean a lot. In a flirting situation, it is one of the most accurate signals that she’s interested.
• Shoe dance Dangling her shoe off from her toes is a way of showing that she’s comfortable in the situation.

Here are some signs men give that Rachel describes in her book:

• Guidance As you are walking together, he “guides” you by touching the small of your back or your elbow. It’s a mixture of “Back off, I’ve got her” to other guys, “I’m not going to lose sight of this one” to himself, and “I am going to protect you” to the girl
• Hands on hips He is trying to accentuate his physical size and confidence (or build up his confidence).
• Puffed up If he is standing with his muscles contracted and at full attention he is trying to impress you with his stature
• Legs spread Whether you want it or not, he is sitting across from you giving you a crotch display to indicate what he has got to offer.
• Tie stroking/hair smoothing/sock adjusting Guys preen too –  they are trying to look good for you because they are interested.
• Eyebrow flash If a guy is interested he will lift his eyebrows and crinkle his forehead. Just for a quick instant, though.
• Spread legs while standing If a guy is into you, he will make a stand. Literally. If he squares off to you while standing with his legs shoulder-width apart, he is looking to mate.

As Rachel reminds us, it’s not about judging the situation based on one single sign but rather a cluster of signs. I find watching body language to be fascinating so have fun the next time you are on a date or simply observing people in public.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Winning At Online Dating With A Photo

If you are single and looking, online dating needs to be part of your repertoire. In North America alone, there are more than 50 million singles registered with online dating sites, making tech-romance an integral part of today’s culture.

When working with date coaching clients, the first thing I assess on their profile is their photo. They must receive an ‘A’ Grade or we can’t move forward. Yup, it’s THAT important.

Here are my recommendations on ensuring an ‘A’ Grade on your photo: 1. Go through all of your photos that have been taken within the last year. 2. Create a folder in your documents entitled, “ME FAVORITES”. 3. Put any photo of yourself in there that you like. Make sure they are just photos of you and no one else. There are some exceptions if you can cleanly cut out a friend who is standing next to you but you don’t want a picture of you with a random body-less arm around your shoulders. 4. If you don’t currently have photos of yourself, put a call out to friends or family members who might have photos of you on their camera. 5. If you have a Facebook profile, double check it to see if there are any good photos that might have been tagged of you. 6. Get every last picture you find organized into your “ME FAVORITES” folder.

Still no photos of yourself that you like? Book a time with a friend, family member or co-worker. Maybe there is someone in your network who has always been good at taking photos. If you still can’t think of anyone, go onto Craigslist and peruse the ads for photographers looking to build portfolios. You may even get a free session. With this said though: do-not-sign-up-for-a-cheesy-portrait-session. For the fun photo session, here are the tips: 1. Get dressed up in your favorite outfits and experiment with a few different looks. Try sassy, serious, fun, and approachable. Don’t be over the top with your poses. A great smile is most attractive. 2. Your aim is to get two good pictures, one a close up of your face and one a full body shot. It may take 60 digital photos before you find one you like, but make sure the one you select is a fair representation of who you really are. 3. Avoid wearing black. Wear red or have it in the background. This will really help your photo stand out. 4. Try various settings and lighting until you think you’ve really got it. 5. A good way to get a full body shot is to have your friend stand on a stool slightly above you so that you can look up toward the camera. Don’t look down; this isn’t flattering for anyone. 6. If you need to add a 3rd photo, make it an action shot of you hiking or biking or engaging in some activity outside of posing. 7. Please don’t use a webcam. 8. Don’t crop or scribble people out of your photos 9. Ladies, try not to pose with a baby in an effort to show how great of a mother you’d be (or are). That goes for you too guys, no posing with babies. 10. One last thing: Ladies, if you pose “pouty” or sexy, don’t get mad when men contact you just for sex. Men are only responding to your photo so be accountable for that.

Overall, you want your photo to be warm and inviting and show the authentic you. Don’t try to look like someone you’re not or don’t only post photos of you looking your absolute best.

And remember, our ultimate goal is to transfer you from online to offline dating.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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