Have you ever asked a man how he felt about something only to have him respond with the words, ‘I don’t know enough to have an opinion’? To a woman this sort of response is crazy making because we just don’t understand how a man could not know how he feels about something.
As women, we’re guided by feeling; we’re motivated to action by feeling.
Overwhelmingly though, men do not trust feelings as something to act on.
In fact, men do not always trust people who act based solely on feelings.
For many men, ‘having a grip’ on their feelings is a hallmark of their character.A man screens information and evaluates it before he moves forward.
A woman only needs to be in touch with her feelings to form an opinion.
A woman’s opinions can change as often as her feelings, but for a man, his opinions are very much a part of his sense of self.
And make no mistake; a man will defend his opinions to the death!
Can you recall a time when you found yourself attracted to a man and were listening intently to every word he said?
Part of that listening was you trying to determine whether or not you agreed with his opinions.
Think about it, when you agree with a man’s opinions you feel closer to him. When you disagree though, there is a feeling of distance that is created between you.
And women hate feeling distance because it makes us feel alienated. We want to feel close and cozy.
On a very basic level, a man’s relationship to communication is that of a warrior. And how does a warrior communicate? He conceals information, because he needs to be able to rely on the element of surprise.
The good news is, any time a man speaks his opinion, he’s actually unknowingly revealing himself to you.
In that willingness to just listen I think you’ll find that he just processes and shares information differently.
To your authenticity,
Love, Christine